Getting in front of the lens

A co-worker/friend passed along this article to me recently.  She said it's so true and something she wish she had read years ago when her boys were little.  It's about the mom staying in the pictures.  If you haven't read it yet, it's worth your time.  It really struck a chord with me.  Here we are nearly 12 months into our little guy's year of firsts and I am in a handful of pictures, always feeling the need to be the one to get the picture or to have at least partial hair and makeup in tact.

So when I woke up to the sound of the camera for the picture below, I was fussing at PC.  "Gah... delete that... no makeup, hair is pulled back in a mess... " and he said "but y'all look so sweet together."  I'm glad he didn't listen.  Who cares?  This is how we spend at least half of the night and when our little guy finally starts sleeping through the night, or in a big boy bed, this picture will hold a treasured memory.

And this one.  We're introducing new foods and some don't agree so well with LB's tummy.  This is him with an upset tummy and I just want him to know that I am right there.  My arms wrapped around him, telling him I love him and that I'm so sorry his tummy hurts and I wish I could make it better.

If I hadn't handed the camera over for this, I would have missed the best kiss ever.

From here on out, I am getting in front of the lens and making my best effort to capture those moments that yell "mom is right here!"  And moments that tell a story of how much I love being LB's mom, even if it's not always picture perfect.  

Our Family

For years I have attempted to maintain a level of anonymity here because PC and I are private to a fault.  I also really don't want to share my dysfunctional ovary woes with just anyone IRL. 

But last year those dysfunctional ovaries produced  2 good eggs and I gave birth to 1 super sweet miracle baby, thanks to modern medicine & prayers.

And I can also picture everyone on the blogs that I read the most and truly appreciate that you share so many aspects of your life with people you've never met.  Frankly, it becomes frustrating not always being able to place a face with a name.

Plus I turned 36 yesterday and know there are more important things in life than worrying about any IRL stalkers who are interested in my infertility. 

So there's no time like the present.  The seriously about to kick some butt cowboy PC and his trashy saloon girl Miss Mac and their little outlaw LB are coming out to say hello and that they had a blast this weekend going out of town for a little family adventure.  :]  

Where did the baby go?

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite L.ittle G.olden B.ooks was Where Did the Baby Go?  I have somehow held on to it and it now sits on LB's shelf.  It's a story about a little girl who finds a picture of a baby and asks her mom where she can find this baby.  She looks around the house and finally tries on a hat, smiles in the mirror and realizes that she is the baby in the picture.

 

 I have thought about that book several times recently because I have been asking the same question!

Where did the baby go that once laid in the crib and looked so tiny?

Now we have lowered the mattress because our little baby started turning the monitors on and off!

Where did the baby go that was so excited about seeing a ball?

Now we are running to grab cords and "save him" when he gets stuck behind furniture from chasing a ball!

Where did the baby go that used to ride around in his car seat in the stroller caddy?

Now he looks like such a big boy riding around in a shopping cart!

Where did the baby go with the gummy grin?

Now he has a grin with 3.5 teeth!  (side note:  .5 front tooth has been m.e.a.n :( and please excuse the rice cake crumbs) 

Where did the baby go that had to have pillows under his feet in the Jumperoo?

Now his feet easily touch the ground!

Where did the baby go that needed me the entire bath time?  

Now he needs lots of play time without me (although I am cheering from less than 1 foot away)!

Wow, it feels like LB is growing and changing so much that it won't be long until we are getting ready for school!

Geez, mom!  Quit being so sentimental... I like doing big boy things!  

And some expressions never change:] 

Crazy good times

Life.  Feels so upside down right now but is overflowing with memories that will last a lifetime!  For example, I wanted to check in with the blog world tonight (finally) and post a picture or two, which led to a massive search for my iPhone.  I called it from our land line.  I heard the hum but couldn't figure out for the life of me where it was coming from... until... wait... no, surely I did not...  Um, yes, I did.

See that front pocket of LB's lunch/milk tote?  The front pocket would be the location of my "5 hours in the fridge smart phone" with a dumb baby brain owner!  It's okay, feel free to laugh along with me.

PC (already in the bed) heard me laughing so I proceed to tell him what happened.  His response, "that's not really good for your phone."  Um, babe, do you really think it was intentional?

I had another post in mind but I spent too much time looking for my phone and then defrosting it.  

Crazy good times... how are you all doing? :]

Memorable Moment Monday

I am covered up with returning to work and August/May are the two months of the year that I am stressed to the max with work obligations... but thank goodness that I did not miss this yesterday...

  

those feet are blurry because they are moving and so is LB!  We have a crawl/slither/scoot-er in the house and I just know that he is going to get faster and go further every day now!  Must make time soon for baby-proofing!  By the way, that train is LB's favorite and PC and I frequently have the following tune stuck in our heads "Riding on the train, come and ride with me.  Let's look out the window to see what we can see."  Frequently as in all the time.  Fun times:] 

Memorable Moment Monday

 

Special on aisle 12!  I understand baby boy.  T.arget wears me out too! :]

Who is 40 today?

One of the coolest, cutest dad's on the blog block IMO:]  

40 has never looked better.  

I love you.

 Happy Birthday PC!

Happy Camper

LB experienced his first camping trip last weekend- in a tent on an inflatable air mattress that kept going flat through the night.  We rough'ed it while his grandparents & aunt/uncle/cousins (PC's side) stayed in their fancy campers, which we are now in the market for too since LB LOVED it!  He slept better on the deflating air bed than he has at home in weeks and he only cried when his body reached the sleepy stage and he was too afraid to miss out on something.  
His cousins (tween and teen) took him for stroller rides, fed him, and took turns changing diapers.
His grandparents fought over who he was reaching for and smiling at the most.
His aunt sang him to sleep and his uncle tossed him high up in the air. 
With all of those helping hands, PC got to go on a few bike rides around the campground and I got to take a long shower, which felt good even in a bathhouse!
He had a bite of a peach, biscuit, blackberry jelly & strawberry shortcake.  
He was big stuff in the swing!
He was big stuff in the pool!
There was a fair in town and LB was in awe of the sights and sounds.  We "won" (okay, just paid $5 for the souvenir) a Boots inflatable and it made our little guy so happy.  And guess what other souvenir LB came home with?  A bottom tooth!!!  Exciting times around here:]

Smiling because I finally cut that bottom tooth! 

Poop, it sometimes doesn't happen

Warning:  A post about poop, or lack thereof.   
Spoiler:  We now have a regular little pooper:] 

We have several baby "issues" that are a work in progress (sleep, teething, rashes, etc).  But, for now, we are winning in the battle against constipation (knock on wood).

The problem:  About a week into solids, LB started pooping about every 3 days.  Day 3 was miserable, for him and for us.  Very ill baby who would strain and whimper and look at us like "do something."  :[  (Sh)It usually happened in the afternoon so we would put him on the changing table, move his legs in a "pedaling" motion and spend about 10-15 minutes there and this poor baby worked hard!

After a call to the pedi and some crazy advice from grandma, here is what got things err... moving... around here.

Diet change- eliminated rice and bananas.  I found one website that said to remember no BRAT- banana, rice, apples, toast.  Switched to oatmeal.

Pedi-lax glycerin suppositories- this was a recommendation from the pedi on those "day 3's" when LB was straining so hard.  We used these grudgingly and sparingly but they worked instantly and provided him instant relief.  They come 6 to a box and I would say that we used about 8-10 total over those first few weeks of working on the issues.  We did not want him to become dependent on them so they were a last resort.

Prunes & apple prune juice- Daily.  One small jar (or half) of the prunes and 3-4 ounces of watered down juice.

And last, you know grandma has to have a say about it.  So she told me to pull out his little toilet (that she bought way too early because of her grand potty training plans) and just sit him on it when we started to see the strained look.

I'll be darn.  For 21 days straight, he has sit on that potty, leaned on me, and pooped like a champ.  PC would have a fit if I put the picture in its entirety here and it is a strange but pretty cute sight.  All he needs now is a bathroom reader lol! 

 
 

PAIL- July- Family Building

~Thoughts on the July PAIL theme ~

We are done with the life and part-time job that is otherwise known as ART.  In my mind, that closes a door on additional children through the "good 'ol fashioned" way.  Could it happen?  Well, holding this baby makes me think anything is possible.  But do I want to actively try by charting BBT and using OPKs and studying EWCM?  Nope.  I no longer want to be consumed with the acronyms!  

Child-spacing?  Ha!  That was truly my first thought.  I remember when we first started TTC I wanted to plan the time of year the child was born to be more convenient with my work schedule.  Ha again!  It's sad that that's funny to me and funny that that's sad.  It happens for so many right on schedule... I am still amazed.  This topic brings so many TTC emotions to the surface and the bitterness- obviously it is still there- it's just not on the forefront as I am beyond grateful to have one.  Repeat- beyond grateful to have one.      

Our original plan was the white picket fence with 2.0 kids (girl & a boy no doubt) and a dog.  The reality has become a black wrought iron fence with 1.0 IVF miracle baby and 3 dogs.  Blessed.  But IF threw us a curve ball.  It meant we had discussions about having no children, about adoption and then we entered the world of ART.  It means I have a blog of 4 years worth of trials, tears and then ultimately (thank you God) TRIUMPH!  

A family of 3 we will be and we are all smiles about that, 

even though LB appears to be thinking it over lol.     

   

Cheap Entertainment

We are swimming in toys around here and LB does have some favorites but some of the best "toys" to entertain baby are not F.isher P.rice!  Enter...in no particular order...

1.  The remote- Loves this gadget so much that we pulled one that doesn't work out of a drawer and stuck it in the diaper bag.  I know it probably looks funny at church when we use it for a distraction, but it provides several minutes of serious play time.

2.  Our watches- It used to take the entire diaper change for LB to pull off my favorite N.ike watch but now he's got it down to 0.2 seconds flat.  He pulls it off, looks up to see my reaction and then throws it in the floor every. single. diaper. change.  Dad's is not quite as fun as it latches but any watch is still a point of interest.

3.  The iRoomba- I would like to know what he's thinking when this thing spins around the room.  He likes this from a distance... when it enters his personal space, he's not so sure.

4.  The paper towel holder- LB is not really into waiting patiently for me or dad to fix a bottle so he enjoys giving the paper towels a spin in the mean time!

5.  Feet/Toes- Good for holding, sucking, grasping... when there is nothing else around, the feet will just have to do!

6.  Hair pulling- namely, mine.  No picture because I am too busy untangling and explaining why that's not supposed to be fun!

Honorable mentions- paper bags, hats, eye glasses, spoons, light switches, cell phones, computers, straps/tags, napkins, mirrors, wallets and lotion bottles!

Fun at the Zoo

We decided to venture to a zoo that's about a 90 minute drive from our house this past Saturday.  Despite the hot weather, it was a fun day as a family of 3!  LB was more interested in his shadow than the animals but he was so happy to be outdoors taking in new sights and sounds.   

Cool, a shadow! 

Who are you calling a monkey?

First taste of Gelato is so good I'll close my eyes and savor!

LB was so exhausted by the time we got back to the car that he actually was happy to be put in his car seat for once. Good times:]  

Thanks for the Mammaries!

Blog title- I digress.  PC said this recently and we totally cracked up.  Blame it on the lack of sleep. 

But it is time for the ladies to go part-time.  Or that's what I am wondering... can the ladies just take over the night shift or is it all or nothing? 

I am proud and thankful for our nearly seven month run.  Not quite long enough to make it on the cover of T.ime magazine, lol, but I am grateful.  I have always had to supplement but have given this baby every ounce of breastmilk possible through pumping and nursing.  It has been a part of bonding with my son but it's just been that, a part.  We enjoy bonding with the "boo" game at the changing table and playing on the blanket in the living room floor just as much!   

Several reasons, but mainly the supply is dwindling since introducing solids and I want to return to work without having to think about the pump, pump parts, storage, nursing bra/pads, etc.         

Side note:  To those who formula fed, breastfed for a shorter/longer amount of time... you are feeding the baby the best way possible for your situation and will not get any judgment here.  Geez, I can't believe people have even felt like they have to justify how they feed their babies.  I've seen some posts lately that have made me cringe!  Feed the baby=healthy baby= it's all good!

I want to see more of this anyway.... 

What do I see?

When LB was just a couple of weeks old, we noticed what we thought was a scratch.  At his 2 month check-up, the pedi said it could be a scratch or could be a birthmark.  We were confused because he didn't have it "at birth" but we learned that it could be a hemangioma, a collection of blood vessels under the skin.  At the 4 month check-up it was definitely diagnosed as a hemangioma.  It will grow during his first 1-2 years, then "rest," then slowly regress... leaving no scar or indication that it was ever there.  LB has the kind (so far) that will stay closer to the skin while others turn a deeper bruise-like color and form a knot.  We did check into medical options but they are invasive and leave scars... a no brainer for us, we did our research and we will let it do its thing unless it ends up closer to his eye. I do not even consider using photo.shop on his pictures... it is part of him, it is part of his birth story.  The people who are around him the most- we don't even "see" it anymore.  He's just our sweet LB.      
  
Other people look at LB differently.  It's okay!  I understand that it stands out.  I understand that people want to ask but are not sure what to ask.  Sometimes I just start explaining, sometimes I don't.  Kids are great- they just come out and say "baby have boo boo" and I tell them "it doesn't hurt, baby is okay and it will go away" and kids are happy with that.  Love kids.  What I don't understand and frankly what hurts is when a person is getting ready to say "he's a cutie/sweetie/etc" but they stop... and it is obvious.  All mamas think their baby is the cutest, sweetest thing...I don't need anyone to say it... I am just taken aback that his hemangioma makes people standoff-ish.  He's just a baby with a bump!  And I would take him with big bumps, little bumps, red bumps, blue bumps...  didn't mean to sound Dr. S.euss here but you get this took-a-long-time-so-thankful-IVF-worked-I-will-keep-him mama's point! 
 
It does make me think.  When I see a child who has some kind of scar or birthmark, do I stare or do I smile?  I hope that I can always say that I smile and see a precious gift.  When I see a child running from his or her parents or shouting, do I think the parents need to have better control or do I have compassion knowing they may have a child with autism or an emotional behavior disorder?  I hope that I can have compassion and see a precious gift. 

This is from the heart and I appreciate everyone listening.  My baby's bump will go away.  Some are not so lucky and would gladly trade a hemangioma for what their baby has to go through.

I am beyond grateful. Blessed beyond measure.

  I see my precious gift in this child from head to toe, hemangioma, slobber and all:]  

  

Memorable Moment Monday

Done with the appetizer!  Where's the Beef?  :]

Linking to PAIL's MMM and a good picture to go along with my last post and to say thanks so much for the baby food advice!

Baby Food

LB has been on solids since 4 months... a little rice cereal at first, then some avocado.  Since then, a typical day consists of oatmeal in the morning and a veggie/fruit at both lunch and dinner.  He gets between 15-20 ounces of breastmilk and/or formula total.  The pedi said that is a little on the low side but it sounds like we have a "snacker" who is more content getting a little bit throughout the day.  I try to give him milk before the solids and after but when he knocks it out of my hand I get the point. But that's not where I want to go with this post.  I am looking for input about what "real" things to give LB.  I have given him sweet potato and avocado and the rest is baby food.  Baby food is real, but you know what I mean... "fresh" I guess is the better word. 

Beyond sweet potato and avocado, I'm out of ideas.  No bananas because of the constipation issues.  I should say here that baby led weaning makes sense to me but it just doesn't work out for our lifestyle right now (aka not enough time to clean afterwards & eating mostly junk!) 

Today, I embarked on cooking and freezing some squash.  If you think that I will show "pretty" pictures and say this was easy and fun, you will be disappointed.  My pics will not make it to p.interest lol.  This was hard, messy work and kudos to those that get this done with a little one!
 Basically, I washed the squash, cut it in halves, scooped out the insides, put in the oven face down in some water for 40 minutes, then scooped out the meat and put it in some small freezer containers.  I left out the puree step because it came out really mashed up anyway but that was included in the directions I used.  Whew!  I am looking for some easy ways to whip up some fresh fruit/veggies!

Washed, sliced and scooped out

In the pan before I added water

Done, scooped out the insides and placed in the containers for freezing

Well?  Maybe I like it... maybe not, let me think about it!

First Set of Wheels

Despite repeated efforts and encouragement from his parents...
Our LB refuses to roll from back to front, to sit up on his own, to scoot, to hold a cup or to sleep through the night.

But, Boy Oh Boy, can he RUN!!!
Ah bab bab uh uh da, excuse me, I've been corrected.  LB says "this is serious driving mom!" Lol.

To the Storage Totes

Dear storage totes,

To the clear tote- you hold tiny little onesies, outfits, hats and sleepers.  The tags say "newborn."  Most of them were gifts and I would sort, wash and stare at them time and time again while waiting until the day they could be used.  Then LB arrived and I loved using each and every piece- from the sleepers to keep him warm and cozy to the Christmas outfit that made our newborn look like such a little man.  You contain memories that will forever be treasured.     

To the blue tote- you hold sizes 0-3 & 3-6 months.  These pieces represent many special firsts- from smiles and rolling over to holidays and trips adventures! LB was so cute in the P.olo outfit that matched dad and the sleeper with duck feet!  You are full of onesies that my hot-natured little guy loved to wear alone as the days got warmer.  I can't believe you are full already, which means that my LB is growing up way too fast.  

I am just not ready to part with a single piece.  I wanted to be sure you were aware of these precious  clothes stories you hold.  You represent a dream come true!   

Vacation with a Baby

I saw one of those sayings on a F.acebook post that "going to T.arget by yourself is a vacation for mom and going on vacation is work!"  After returning from our first vacation last week, I would agree!  However, I don't think we've ever laughed so much and the time together was priceless. 

If I had advice to give to someone who is about to travel with a baby to the beach, these would be my "top 5 must haves" (in addition to the necessities of course).
1.  Baggies and shopping store bags... in the car and in the luggage... for everything... soiled diapers, bottles, trash, sunscreen... multiple uses.  Wipes too! 
2.  The pack-n-play was a real pain in the backside but we couldn't have done without it- instant changing table, bed and place to play.  This seems like it would be a "given" but I debated taking it since he ends up in the bed with us anyway.  Glad we did. 
3.  If you end up with several inflatable things like we did, take a small inflator!  We took an inflatable pool for LB to lay in on the beach under our umbrella, a beach ball, a float, etc. 

4.  Travel size things really saved us space this year.  In fact, LB had his six month check-up the day before and the pedi loaded us up on lotion, sunscreen and baby wash samples.  Yay!

5.  For the car- a bag of familiar and some toys LB hadn't seen before.  This was advice from my co-workers and I wondered how much time toys could distract with a baby wanting out of a car seat but they did help.  I went to yardsales a couple of weeks before our trip and got several things that were "new" to LB, all for under $5.  I also never wanted a portable DVD player in the car but that is one of those never say never things when it comes to long car rides for us... it kept LB distracted for 10 minute chunks of time throughout the trip so it was worth it to me.  Note to PC:  I know it was by accident that the toy bag was packed in the !$*% cargo carrier on the way home.  However, this meant mom had to be very creative and that at times all I had was lotion, a bracelet, a cup and- I digress- a m.axi pad.   
 
Last thoughts on vacation- yes, it was different... supper was rushed and eaten with a baby in one arm, no long walks on the beach at night and lots more time spent in the room than ever before.  But to be on a trip with OUR baby, I'm tearing up as a type this, a void that we always felt was more than fulfilled.  To see him look at things with amazement and enjoy feeling the sand and water on his toes... our cup runneth over!   

     

Son Rise

Beautiful picture of a sunrise over the horizon as the ocean waves come in?  Nah.  Not nearly as beautiful as that dad carrying his baby out to see it... so blessed that they happen to belong to me!    Happy First Father's Day PC!  We love you!

Vacation... Arrival

No need to be so worried about the car ride.  LB was a champ... either sleeping, watching something on the portable DVD, playing with toys or just chillin.  We stopped three brief times to let him stretch and eat.  Yay LB!  

Then we got here.  Big oops.  Didn't check the clearance of the parking deck and the cargo carrier we borrowed doesn't fit.  Enter moment of panic and telling PC to please come back from check-in with a plan.  [Side note:  The lady at the office seriously tells him that "it will be fine on the open top deck."  ...Um, yeah, but that requires driving through the parking deck, which is the reason we came to ask what to do in the first place.  PC politely explained the situation again.]  Next.  PC gets some help and takes the thing off and loads it on a luggage cart and we plan on just taking it to our room.  LB and I take off to the top deck to meet PC after he's dropped off the cargo carrier.  Poor PC... a few minutes later he comes around the corner and still has the (!*#$) cargo carrier on the cart.  It won't fit through any of the elevator doors!  He is covered in sweat from pushing that thing up several levels of the parking deck and wouldn't you know something like this always happens when you have to use the bathroom!  End result- cargo carrier is tied down in our parking space for the duration of the trip and PC truly deserves a special Father's Day Weekend.  And... we are having a good laugh. 

To be continued....

Three Months worth of Thought Vomit

Feel free to peruse the topics below of life at the Mac & PC home and skip or read whatever may be of interest:]  Also, even though my son's name can be found in my blog, for the sake of keeping some anonymity I'm going to refer to him as LB (little bit/boy/blessing/baby, love bug... it works).    

Pumping/Nursing/Solid Foods:  I pump at or around 6 a.m., 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. and nurse twice in the evenings and through the night.  Even with this, we use about 10-12 ounces of formula for supplementing and mixing with cereal.  LB eats oatmeal, avocado & has juice at lunch and rice cereal and another (baby food) fruit at supper.  These are all small portions but he (so far, knock on wood) is a really good eater with whatever is put in front of him.  The constipation from introducing solids has not been so great.  Prunes are usually the fruit choice for supper these days!  I love the idea of making food or letting him try out what we are eating but that would mean lots of McD.onalds & C.hicFil.A, so cereals & mashed fruit it will be!         

Avocados:  Took me some practice to figure these out and I'm still looking for ideas.  I let them ripen 2-3 days, then scoop out the insides, mash up and freeze in ice cube trays.  He gets one cube mixed with a little formula for his lunch meal. 

Sleeping:  We've actually seemed to go backwards since introducing solids or since 5 months old.  LB was waking around 1 a.m. and 4 a.m., nursing and going back to sleep.  Now if he starts out in the crib by 9 p.m. he ends up in our bed by 12 a.m. and nurses randomly until getting up around 5 a.m., ready to play.  If he's not nursing, he is wiggling, kicking or reaching out to hold my hair or touch my face.  Sweet as that is, I am tired from all the rest-less-ness.  I just keeping holding out for that one night when he starts out in the crib and stays in the crib all.night.long.   

Babydancing:  Do I still call it that?  It's actually referred to more often as "nap" time around here!  And we are not taking many naps because 1- when it is nap time we're too tired to nap, 2- scar tissue from giving birth means naps are painful, 3- no time for naps and 4- so many things to do when it really is nap time and 5- mood music for nap time is the humming of the baby monitor with lullabies in the background.  Do they make a mobile that plays Chi.cago's Greatest Hits?  Still it is great to be scheduling around nap times rather than OPK's!  And the scar tissue... the ob/gyn says that will be fine again in time or there is a procedure.  When he describes the procedure it sounds like it would just lead to more scar tissue, no thanks.  Ke.gels before birth, Ke.gels after birth!     

ART- Done.  A family of three we will be and we're both beyond happy & blessed with that!  I know that some would say "it can still happen" but I know my body and what we went through... it is broken when it comes to making a baby the "old fashioned" way.  Those treatments were a part-time job and I'm turning in my resignation! 

Marriage:  Strained, but we both know that this is a season of life that comes with new challenges. We've talked about being a united front on decisions.  We're seeing so many of our friends/colleagues (whose kids are much older of course because of our IF journey) navigate through the preteen years and some are taking sides with their kids when their spouse doesn't agree.  We've seen some marriages almost come apart because of this.  Our topics are diapers rather than dating but it's important to us for our child to see us as a team.  On that note, I have improved in the area of turning baby duties over to dad and then letting them be.  That was hard at first because I could anticipate some cues and cries and gave way too many instructions "try holding him this way, did you check his diaper, etc." and it just stressed all three of us out. LB is with his dad 2 hours every morning and they do their thing.  It's all good.       

Blogging:  I miss it.  I hope to read, post, and comment more when I have a few weeks off this summer. I can't wait to check out the new PAIL site!     

LB:  We're having more fun this month than ever.  We have GIGGLES, and all it took was making a hacking-gag-type noise and tickling his tummy... odd, but I'm proud to get them even if it requires weird noises.  We are spending a lot of time in the floor on a blanket just playing.  A favorite new game is to hold this big red ball with hands & feet then kick or push it away and watch mom and dad go get it.  I also think LB is going to be a champ at the "uh-oh" game... he drops it and we pick it up. 

    

Summer plans and need ideas:  Heading out for a weekend beach trip in a few weeks.  What do I need to survive this trip with a six month old... especially for the 6 hour car ride?  I am more worried about the ride than anything else.  Some of it will be timed during a nap but that leaves about 4 hours to figure out how to be creative at keeping a very active baby confined to a seat that long.  I've had one 20 minute back seat meltdown and it was awful!  I only want to take essentials and just a stroller and beach stuff is going to take up much of the car!  I stared out at the ocean on so many of our beach trips as a couple and dreamed of having a baby with us, it is going to be a surreal moment to experience the trip as a family of 3!    

Working:  I try not to dwell on the fact that I am away from this sweet baby 45 hours or more a week.  He is with people who love him during the day and he is usually at our home.  That is what keeps me going until I can get home and get my hands on him.  Weekends have new meaning!  I've known before and during IF that I would be a working mom outside of the home and it's just harder than I thought.  I am fortunate that working in the education field means that I have holidays and a few weeks in the summer off... the goal is to make memories and make the most of every minute. 

Life in general:  Having good great times.  Yes, we're tired and this is the hardest job ever, but we're having fun and experiencing a love for each other and this child that is just amazing.  LB and I recently walked to my grandparent's house (just up the hill from us) and we sat in the sun room and my granny said "These are the best days of your lives.  My mama used to say your children first step on your toes and then on your heart.  My children are grown and now my grandchildren are grown and here is LB... it goes by way too fast.  Enjoy every day."          Yes mam.