He's On The Way!

Water broke 5 1/2 hours ago.  We are in the hospital and doing well.  Prayers please... to be continued.

Official: Miserable

Please let me explain before someone thinks that I have lost all memory of IF and the long- almost 7 year- journey it took to get to this point!

It's the "I'm in the middle of another 2WW miserable."  One week down, another to go!  Anticipation... nerves... what if's... all of those same thoughts that I went through 39 weeks ago during a very emotionally & physically draining time of waiting.  Then we got the news that we had been waiting to hear for so long and now I'm waiting to be able to share the news of a lifetime!

Physically, I have to say that I'm just making it day to day right now.  I'm still working and pushing myself to get things done but I'm swollen and walk waddle to try and relieve pain in my lower back and right knee.  Tuesday is my last day of work and Wednesday we go back to the ob/gyn for an update.  Last week we were 1.5 cm dilated and 25% effaced.  I was so excited to hear that and then Dr. Google tells me women can be at that status for weeks- BOO! 

Emotionally, I'm not in a (total) fearful state about pain and childbirth.  I'm in a nervous/anxious state of wanting this sweet baby boy to get here healthy and safely.    

In no way do I mean for this to be a somber post at such a joyful time, just that a major dose of anxiety has kicked in through another 2WW.  Bring on the grand finale!!!

PC has been a true partner through all of this, but especially the past few days.  Have I ever mentioned that he has been to every single appointment?  He takes care of the laundry, keeps the fur babies fed and has been company for them when I just haven't felt like it, helps me with my socks and shoes, massages my back, puts his hand on my stomach every day to experience the baby's movements with me and so many more little things that mean so much.  I haven't thanked him or told him how much I appreciate those things enough, but I really, really do!  Today he gave me a pregnancy card that was meant to be funny but it brought on laughter and tears at the same time.  Worth a share...

Laughed when I opened and saw the front (he knows how much I love to plan) and cried when I got to his note... everything is going to be okay with this man by my side:] 

No one told me about...

these sharp shooting pains in the lady part area!  They come fast and without warning... OUCH!  Seriously, I can be walking across the room one minute and crossing my legs the next because of what feels like a needle jab down there.  Hoping someone can tell me this means baby is coming sooner than later!

We are pretty much in waiting mode around here.  The bags are packed, the car seat is installed and the names are (at least) narrowed down!  At 38 weeks, the birth stories keep rolling in.  I want to hear them and I don't want to hear them at the same time.  The only certainty is that every birth experience is unique! 

I'm also getting the "how to bring on labor" suggestions.  The most popular one is good 'ol fashioned.... bet you're thinking sex right now... nope, walking.  One of my co-workers said to spend a day at the mall this weekend and she assures me that will speed up the arrival time!  I'll consider any suggestions except for castor oil, no thank you!    

The next ob/gyn visit is Thursday.  Hoping he'll tell me things are continuing to progress.  I want this little boy to come on his terms but I'm so ready to move from the belly to birth to the baby... can't wait for that day to get here! 

The Nursery Tour!

A tour of the nursery for our little one! 

I think you can click on one of the pictures and the captions are easier to read.  My favorite parts are the white shelf made with love (and blood/sweat/tears) by PC and the mural.  We still have a few little things to do, like put his initials on the wall hangings (when we know the name!) and putting the monitor/mobile in the crib, but essentially we're just waiting to put this room to use!  It suits our lifestyle and we hope that this baby boy loves it too!

So Thankful

I'm thankful for so many things this holiday but especially for this little miracle baby on the way who is letting me know he is wide awake right now and ready for some turkey:] 
Last ob/gyn update- dialated to 1 cm!  I realize that could hold true for days but it's progress!  I have a friend IRL who reads our blog and thinks it would be very appropriate for a little Mac and PC baby to make an appearance on Cyber Monday, lol.  We'll take him anytime he's ready!  

I'm also thankful for the support that this blog community provides and for receiving the Liebster Blog Award from my friend Baby Hopes.  She is an incredibly talented writer and everything she's passionate about shines through as she shares her (very busy) life and journey to get to her babies in the months ahead.  Then, being the statistical analyzer she is, she defies IF statistics recently and conceives naturally... we still love her, lol:]  So many of us are thrilled about what the year ahead holds for her and can't think of anyone more deserving, so happy for you Baby Hopes! 

Spreading some Liebster Love on this holiday to some ladies who I'm very thankful for sharing their journey... they are in different places on the IF rollercoaster ride and they are strong, precious women who deserve nothing less than the best, which includes a baby (or two)!  :]

1.  China Doll     
2.  Foxy
3.  Marilyn
4.  Jen
5.  A Miracle 4 Us


Here's how to spread the Liebster Love:  

• Copy and paste the award on your blog
• Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
• Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
• Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers

Third Trimester (or 36 1/2 weeks) Recap

Since I skipped the weekly updates... this is my improvising with the third trimester recap!  Even though I still have 2-3 weeks to go this is one of those things to get done while I can!  Latest ob/gyn update since we now go each week- negative on the strep B test (yay) and "softening, but baby still high and no dilation yet."  So glad the little guy turned back around into the right position!    

How far along: Weeks 28- 36 1/2- WOO-HOO! 

Symptoms:  Lower back pain, especially if I'm in the same position or sitting too long.  Stuffy nose at night and experiencing a little tightening or crampiness here and there.  Iron supplements= constipation=  hemorrhoids= :[ 

Baby Related Purchases:  We have been so blessed with all things baby through two showers from family/friends and one from my co-workers.  The majority of my co-workers gave money towards our travel system.  It is this one and we love it!  We have already been practicing, lol.

Maternity clothes:  I used to look at all of those medium maternity tops and think, will those really be snug in the coming weeks?  Snug... how about I've had to go buy more size large tops and I'm down to about 3-4 that actually fit!!!   

Sleep: Clockwork bathroom trips at 11:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m., 1:30 a.m., 2:30 a.m., and 4:30 a.m., any sleep revolves around those trips... thanks goodness for night lights and a hubby who always puts the seat down!

Best Moment of the Trimester:  The baby showers and feeling the love and support from friends and family who are almost as excited as we are to meet this little one!     

Strangest Moment:  Just looking in the mirror is strange and puts me in awe at the same time.  There is a little person in there and it's almost time for him to make his appearance to the world, so amazing.

Movement:  There are no longer kicks but all of a sudden a little foot will push out the left side of my belly or a little bottom will root up at the top of my belly, strange and so comforting at the same time.
  
Cravings:  Ice, Ice, Baby:]  I don't know if it's associated with the low iron, but I want ice chips all day long.  I had to go buy a bag of ice to put in our freezer at work and thank goodness our fridge has the built-in ice crusher.  Eating has slowed down to regular meals and normal portions but I do crave something sweet off and on through the day, unlike the first and second trimester. 

Gender:  BOY and we are running out of time to come up with a name! 

What I miss:  Things that used to be easy to do and having to rely on people so much.  I know they are happy to help but I'm so stubborn and independent that it's a little hard to accept sometimes.  I wish I would have taken pictures of me painting my toenails recently, what a sight!  Tried to use some yoga poses but that still didn't help with getting my hand and foot to meet around this baby belly!

What I am looking forward to:  The arrival of this baby as soon as he's ready... we're ready! 

Weekly (or Third Trimester) Wisdom:  This is wisdom that I'm saying to myself right now-- time to figure out how a breast pump works, read instructions on the car seat/base system and finish packing!

Milestones: Five days from full-term, truly a reason to be thankful this Thanksgiving holiday!

Sticky Bun is the size of: Guessing he is around 5 1/2- 6 lbs since the last ultrasound! 

Maternity pics & some randomness

A good friend helped PC and I remember this special time by taking some really sweet maternity pics and I wanted to share a few here.  I also need to share pics of the nursery and do a third trimester update soon... I need a blog "to do" list too:]  I have a cold that's turned pretty nasty and have had to take my first OTC medicine in this pregnancy.  Just thought I would share the dr.'s advice that zyr.tec, muc.inex, s.udafed and tyl.enol cold are all safe but if I had to take two of them, not to take two in the "d" form. I'm taking just the muc.inex d, but PC decided to take the dr.'s advice for his sinus issues as well and has had some great relief... he said "maybe it has finally taken an ob/gyn to help me" and we've been getting a good laugh from that.   

We went to the ob/gyn on Friday and will now be going each week until the birth!  I had the group B strep test (not painful, but not pleasant) and he did my first check down there and the report was "softening but nothing else going on and the baby is still high."  Dr. B said he would try to slow any labor down until full term but that he wouldn't be worried if we had to deliver at this point.  We are 10 days away from full term... so blessed and thankful to God to be at this point right now.  So ready to meet this little guy we've been waiting on for so long!   

OK, enough rambling.  Here are some 34 1/2 weeks maternity shots!

Nesting vs Resting

I asked a good friend why I didn't have the nesting instinct and she told me she had nesting mixed up with resting and gave me some encouragement to hang in there and that if I had to gain 30 lbs I looked good doing it!  True friend, thanks LP!

I think my problem is wanting to accomplish too many things before baby gets here and then it becomes overwhelming... so I don't get anything done.

My "before baby" wish list would include things like...

• all Christmas shopping done
• all Christmas decorating done
• house clean
• make some frozen meals
• stock up on "stuff"
• finish filling out "before baby" parts in the baby book
• put the ultrasound pictures and other keepsakes in a photo album
• organizing all things baby
• getting the car seat/base together (of course this is not an option)  PC got this done as I was typing this post!  Yay! 

That's what comes to mind quickly... it's a longer list than that.  Really, does it matter?  Those things would be nice but at this point I just want to focus on getting this baby boy here safely.  My anxiety level is increasing daily and it's not about the actual birth, it's about being so close to something so precious and wanting it so badly.  Everyone says I will miss the kicks and movement and maybe so, but right now I can't think of anything better than seeing those kicks and movements with a little person in my arms.
5 weeks... until the best Christmas present ever and I'm having a hard time waiting!  I'm on an emotional rollercoaster right now and I appreciate y'all "listening" out in blogland.  So close...
  

Hallo-weenie-dog!

PC and I participated in our church's annual "T.runk or T.reat" this year by turning his sales-mobile station wagon into a (friendly) spider.  A cardboard face, styrofoam legs, webbing and a few decorations later... we were ready for all the kiddos.

We decided to take our biggest furbaby along for the adventure since he's the best with kids.  After an hour an a half of petting and greeting the little trick or treaters, he went over to the furbaby-mobile, climbed up in there and pouted... he had enough and was ready to go home.  Does this face say it all?

How a baby is going to fit in to these adventures I'm not sure, but it's going to be fun trying!!! 

Happy Halloween!

Birth Plans?

I really don't have a birth plan all written out and rehearsed in my mind.  However, with 6 weeks to go, I have started to think about what my ideal labor & delivery would be like.  I do not have the "only going all natural" mindset at this point... wish I did.  Being older and TTC for so long, I've heard all kinds of birth stories and I don't want to feel like I'm letting myself & the baby down if I totally have my mind set and it doesn't go that way.  I have been reading about Hypno.birthing and a lot of the theory and techniques just make sense.  My interpretation is that it's a way of "tricking" your mind and achieving a state of relaxation to reduce stress and tension that make labor pain more intense.  It also talks about letting your body and baby do what they are meant to do and using positive talk like instead of "d*mn you, contraction" the talk would be more "this surge will bring me closer to meeting my baby!"  I would have a hard time turning off the anxiety and mind-racing thoughts to get to the point of relaxation that the book describes... but it sounds so good and I'd love to try!  I do have some things in mind that I would/would not like for the birth experience and plan on talking through some of these things with the ob/gyn on the next visit.

I would like to...

• be free to walk, sit, stand, jump or whatever feels right during labor
• have ice chips or small snacks

I would not like to...

• be strapped to IVs or machines with limited movement
• be induced or given pitocin unless absolutely necessary

Epidural? It brings on a lot of 'what ifs' but -again- no definite mindset of yes or no.
I have already prepared my parents, close family and friends that I do not want them there until the baby is born.  My reasoning?  It's the one time I want to be able to be selfish... to totally focus on the baby instead of being distracted by worrying about others being comfortable or feeling guilty that they are not in the room with me.  Everyone except my mom is good with that plan.  Hopefully she'll come around.
The point of my post is to document my thoughts about the way I'd like to introduce our little one to the world but I will take ANY way that means getting him here safely.  That's the ultimate goal:]  

On another note, I am SO excited about so much good news with several IF blog sisters here lately.  Births & BFP's... doesn't get any better!

Baby Shower #2

This past weekend was the baby shower that my mom has been planning for several weeks.  She worked so hard and bought most of the food and decorations.  Thank you mom!  It was a small, casual get together at our home with family and friends.  It was perfect and a very special time!  Everything was decorated so pretty (or should I say handsome-ly for baby boy) and the brown and blue colors were great. 

As yummy as it looks! 

Blankets, bottles, outfits, monitor, toys, pacifiers, buggy cover, drying rack, pack-n-play, high chair... we are set!  (Well, except for a name!) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Loved the diaper cake... so Mac & PC... just missing a mini-laptop:]  

The punch was an idea from pin.terest and it turned out so yummy and cute!  

The time went by fast and PC joined me at the end.  Since he didn't get to open any of the gifts at this one, I had a special gift from me to him.  He's had his eye on it and was really excited.  Here's a look at it from the store... ready to run:] 

Sweet PC, he worked so hard on our yard to make it look great for the shower... spread wood chips, cut grass, made a trip to the dump with wood piles, boxes and such, helped me make a fall display and pressure washed the driveway. 

Thank you PC, and I know I haven't told you enough lately how much I love and appreciate you!!! 

Last,  here's my belly with 7 weeks to go!  Can he keep growing but my belly stop, lol?  I just want to hold this little boy that we have been waiting on for so long... home stretch, here we come!!! 

Thank you God!

First baby shower

This weekend, PC and I experienced our first baby shower.  Add it to the surreal moments list!

Every month, we gather at PC's grandmother's house for a dinner.  She passed away four years ago and PC's dad and aunt bought the house with the main purpose being to do one of the last things that she said... "y'all take care of each other."  The house is still filled with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren so it couldn't have been a better place to celebrate a new family member on the way.  She would have been proud:]

The dinner menu for the evening was lots of yummy sandwiches and appetizers.  The chocolate cake was sinful good!  I loved that it was the regular family get-together so PC was right by my side.  I hate attention so it helped so much to share the spotlight... even though the real spotlight is wiggling his way under my ribs right now:]  We received so many sweet and thoughtful gifts!  We had a 90 year old friend of the family to come who made us a crocheted blue blanket and told PC that was "to take to the hospital and if anyone sees a mistake, tell them it was made by a 90 year old woman who doesn't wear glasses!"  lol.  Will do.  He got a hooded towel that says "little miracle."  True words.  He got three tubs of butt paste and one container of boogie wipes, keeping it real!  Stuff to make our home safe, cute outfits, blankets, towels, wash cloths, soaps, lotion, diapers, shoes, gift cards and an ounce of silver Liberty Coin for his birth year.  Cool.  It was special and fun but overwhelming too.

My SIL did so much of the planning and I want to do something special for her.  I was really excited to send everyone home with a thank you gift from us.  It was a bag of popcorn and glass soda with a ribbon tied around it that said "About to POP.  Thank you for celebrating with us."  I saw the popcorn idea at another shower and added the soda pop to it and thought they turned out cute (will try to post pics).  I also gave everyone a candle with a poem about saying a prayer for the baby... an idea that came from pin.terest.  My niece calls this baby "Fred."  Before we knew it was a boy, she called him bigbird, then he became Fred.  I have no idea how it's stuck this long, but, since we don't have a name, everyone asks how Fred is doing.  My FIL put FRED on wooden letters on the fridge.  Funny.  We better get serious about a name or Fred is going to stick... and that's not one on our list!

The next baby shower will be hosted by my family & friends this weekend and will be held at our house, no stress there.  It will be small and casual, which is great with me.  This is all so sweet but I really don't need the gifts, I need this little boy, that.is.all.  Eight more weeks... then it's time for the REAL gift!

Still here...

I really have not meant to abandon my blog or those who I follow!  I'm reading and commenting when I can and the rest of my time has been devoted to an ever growing to-do list.  My must-have-everything-in-order-before-baby mentality has been in overdrive the past several weeks.  I wouldn't call it nesting, there has not been a lot of cleaning going on.  Instead, things like getting job duty notes ready in hopes that someone will be substituting for me while I'm on leave, putting a life insurance policy in place (something I meant to do long before pregnancy), doing a consignment sale, making some coupon trips, planning baby shower thank you gifts, participating in a book study with church... yada, yada.  Busy, but I'm so missing my time right here! 

Tomorrow I go to the ob/gyn to see if baby boy is still breech.  It feels like he's in every direction in there so I can't tell.  This weekend is our first shower with PC's family.  It's a dinner/shower and I'm so happy they've planned it that way so that he is every much a part of it as I am.  The whole "women only" more formal-type showers seem kind've sad to me because you're missing your best friend/partner at a time that's really special to them too, but -alas- I've agreed to one of those too later this month.  (Hmmm... not sure if all men would like doing the whole shower thing, but still feel bad they're left out.)

I have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be fun but overwhelming at the same time.  Physically, I'm starting to give out.  My 5'2" frame is being pulled and stretched to the limits.  I don't see how the baby has any wiggle room in there but I'm glad he's finding it!  I am anemic in the 3rd trimester which has led to an iron supplement and changing my diet to add more oatmeal, greens, beans and (gross, I know) chicken livers.  I'm admitting that I'm wiped out or whimped out or a combination with 9 weeks left, uh oh!

Last thoughts for those still reading... you would think after 5 years of dreaming of baby we would have picked out a name, but we never let our hearts or minds go there.  Now, getting closer than ever to a dream come true and we still do not have a name.  For some reason, we keep leaning toward an "H" name and these are three "contenders"  Hudson or maybe Hutson for a little different pronunciation or Hampton.  We've always liked Jake and/or Beau but those are being placed more in the middle name contenders.  Any thoughts on our "H" names?  No one will hurt our feelings unless you just say 'those all stink' lol!  These are just the names that have stayed on the "list" from the beginning.  We're open to suggestions!


Hope to blog more in the coming weeks and can't wait to meet several little miracle babies who were part of the March/April IVFs that resulted in BFPs.  Forever thankful to be in that group and hopeful that those who are still waiting will get to soon say the same!!!

Second Trimester Recap

Since I skipped the weekly updates... this is my improvising with the second trimester recap!  I cannot believe I'm heading into the third trimester this week... it seems like just yesterday I got the phone call that has since set our lives in a new and wonderful direction.  Blessed and beyond words for how thankful we are to be at this point in the pregnancy! 

How far along: Weeks 14-27

Symptoms:  Pregnancy brain... putting boxed food in the fridge for example, many nightly potty trips, some acid reflux for the first part of the second trimester, stuffy/bloody nose, some swelling in ankles if I'm on my feet for an extended time and oh-so-fun hot flashes for the past couple of weeks!  Still... not complaining, just documenting:]

Baby Related Purchases:  More yardsale finds... onesies, a wipe warmer, a bumbo seat, baby carrier and some toys.  Oh, PC and I also bought the bedding, a simple but sweet brown and blue pattern (below).  I finished our registry and there are some groups of friends/co-workers who want to go in on the bigger items (pack-n-play, travel system, etc. woo-hoo!)  Grandparents bought the nursery furniture and he already has a closet full of cute clothes thanks to grandma!

    

Maternity clothes:  I hit the jackpot this trimester with being able to go through two tubs of clothes from ladies my size who are done having babies.  Pants for $5 and shirts for $3... so I now have a complete fall/winter maternity wardrobe, all for under $100... score! 

Sleep: The boppy has been a big help but the trips to the bathroom have never slowed down, bleh.  I would say a night with 5 or more hours of sleep would be called a successful night!   

Best Moment of the Trimester:  Finding out the gender!  Feeling him kick and flip around in there!   

Strangest Moment:  The movement has been strange and so reassuring at the same time. 

Movement:  Finally, a little each day around week 19 and usually around the same time of the day.  From week 20 to the present, the kicks and flutters have been a constant reminder of what a miracle all of this is!  I didn't feel him move much the day before a recent doctor's appointment so I left work early to go to the appointment because I (along with PC) was starting to stress out a little.  I ate chocolate, laid on my side, drank fruit juice, poked him... and could not get any strong movement.  Dr. B6 did an ultrasound and it turned out that the little guy has recently turned completely frank breech and I was feeling less movement with the new position and his longer sleep cycles.  Dr. B6 said he has plenty of time to flip back around... let's hope so.     
 

Cravings:  Arby's roast beef and curly fries,  nectarines and blueberries, mint chocolate klondike bars, captain crunch cereal, and must confess....I've had a cup of coke or sweet tea pretty much every day this trimester. 

Gender:  BOY

What I miss:   Sleeping with PC, but I would feel worse keeping him up through the night...

What I am looking forward to: Completing the nursery and holding him, getting a step closer to a long-time dream every day and it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.  If only we could decide on a name!!!   

Weekly (or Second Trimester) Wisdom:  Let people help!   

Milestones: Entering the Third Trimester!

Sticky Bun is the size of: As of week 27, he is 2 lbs 3 oz with his head measuring ahead of schedule and his legs measuring behind.  The ob/gyn says not to worry and it sounds pretty much like his parents' genes anyway!

(No) Labor Day!

Labor Day has started off in the recliner on a rainy day, still in pajamas, with weeks worth of catching up on blogs as the task at hand:]  PC has decided to make his work day as light as possible so he's had his nose in a book (or guess I should say the Nook) this morning too.  A rare but welcome change of pace in our home today. 

As far as news with Baby Boy (still no name)--- we're both growing!  Total weight gain so far has been 15 pounds and I think most of it arrived the past three weeks!  It's also spreading to my backside and my ankles and my hands... but we'll worry about that later, right?!?  

We haven't seen him via u/s since July but I do know he is there with all of the kicking and flipping that goes on throughout the day.  PC and I found some great bargains at a yard sale this weekend... a babybjorn carrier, a keltikids backpack carrier, a bumbo seat, a boppy, a box full of good toys, crib sheets, changing sheets- all for $70.  I know these are all things we could put on a registry, but getting these things used for a fraction of the original price means I can reduce the registry to some true essentials like diapers and such.  My mom bought him the cutest outfit, I love this...

PC and I are just working and trying to take one day at a time as we have 14 weeks left in this pregnancy... can't even believe that as I type it!!! 


Now back to catching up on what's been going on with all of you the past couple of weeks!

Viability & Vocation!

Long lost blogger here to say "24 weeks today BABY!"  I don't have to share the significance of that here... a milestone that we've been waiting on!  It feels like, from this point on, I can count each week as another big step forward in getting closer to our little miracle baby.

Maybe we should really start figuring out a name for this little guy!

No time like the present to tell you all why I've been an absent blogger since mid-July and the "name game" is so difficult.  I've never really said exactly what my job is here because the purpose of this blog has been so entirely separate from what goes on in my professional life.  I also never wanted to risk someone IRL coming across this blog and misinterpreting anything.  However, I rarely mention my work here and have no intentions of using this blog for discussing anything that happens at work so I'm not worrying about it anymore!  What a blog "mouthful" to say that I'm in the field of education.  I've been absent in blog world to get everything prepared for a new school year and then they all showed up!  Whew!  My job was tiring without being pregnant!  That's another reason it's so hard to narrow down the list of names!  Every name makes me think "that name belongs to that child" even though I know our child can share a name.  (Well, minus those of repeat offenders, lol!)  I've had a few little kids point and ask "is that a baby in there?"  I just smile and say "yes it is" and go on with business as usual.

Infertility is hard for everyone but for those of us in education, it is especially difficult to give so much of your life to taking care of other people's children every day... and wanting so badly to share some of those experiences as a parent.  It was all I could do to hold back the tears at the end of the school year when I was still keeping it a secret that I was pregnant and our Pre-K students sang about saying goodbye to their friends and being ready for Kindergarten.  I can't wait for those special moments... with camera and kleenex in hand of course:]   

Doggie(s)

I'm so behind in the blogosphere I don't know when or if I'll ever catch up!  I went back to work last Monday and the month of August continues to be a blur right now!  I did find time this weekend to have a photo shoot with our furbabies in order to put their pictures up in the nursery.  Will it be okay if our baby's first word is doggie?  :] 

From one IF to another

The following is a recent email conversation with another IF sister that I know IRL.  She went through IVF a few years ago and it didn't work.  My heart hurt to type the words "I'm expecting" and hurt when I got the response because I want this so badly for her too.  I'm posting the conversation here because our words to each other would be so foreign to those who never had trouble conceiving.  But it's as if we spoke back and forth in true IF language and I will always remember what it was like to get to this point and that I have friends through the blog world and IRL who are still fighting and how much I want you/them to WIN. 

Me:  Hi B!  I wasn't sure if you had heard the news that I'm expecting. I wanted to tell you that we went through IVF this past spring... I only had 5 eggs... 4 fertilized... 2 normally (none to freeze) and one stuck!  It's hard to send this to someone who I want the same outcome for so badly on this journey that we didn't ask for.  I know you will still be happy for me... not holding a baby yet, but closer than ever to beating infertility. 

M!  No, I hadn't heard!  I must say, I'm glad to hear it from YOU!  I know it's hard to share with someone who deals with infertility but I'm so glad you did and of course I'm happy for you!  I'm glad you only had to go through IVF once.  It's not the most enjoyable experience is it?  We still have 5 frozen embryos...as I was so friendly reminded when the "storage" bill arrived recently.  Not sure when we'll go through the process to use them...time is running out (turned 38 this summer....ugh.)  In the meantime, we've recently begun paperwork to adopt from China.  The wait is really long, but our hearts our led to see it through.  Back to your good news....please take care of yourself, enjoy, breathe deeply, and take in every precious moment.  You deserve it and are going to be such a great mom!!!

Me:  Thank you!  I couldn't have gone through IVF more than once financially, physically or emotionally so I'm certainly counting my blessings.  I missed so much work and my backside is still sore from the progesterone shots that ended 8 weeks ago!  People think that IVF always works the first time and results in boy/girl twins, so far from the truth!  We just got a bill yesterday for the back-up (required) sample of frozen sperm... people just DON'T know!  It's not that I want anyone to experience it, but some level of understanding and sensitivity from the fertile myrtles would be nice.  I'm excited to hear about the adoption process and I will pray that it happens sooner than later for you!  Just know that you have a supporter here and I will be celebrating when I get the same update from you!!! 

Eek...haven't had those progesterone shots in a while, but I can feel your pain...literally!  And I think it hurts our husbands as much as it hurts us!  You are so right that people just don't know.  One year when we had several pregnancies here, someone said to me, "you should drink from the water fountains."  REALLY?  I can't even respond when people say stuff like that because I'm so dumbfounded and speechless.  I could go on and on about comments from the fertile myrtles, but I won't.  I'm sure you've heard it all, too!

Life is Good

This week, PC and I painted (windows open and fan on) and put up some crown molding in the evolving baby nursery.  We had family over all weekend to celebrate PC's birthday and my sweet cousin stayed with us to paint something special on one wall of the nursery.  We LOVE it.  The theme for the nursery, as well as our lives, is Jeeps, Dogs and Books:] 

Have I said that this still feels like I'm living in a dream?  Have I said thank you God that we are preparing a room for a little miracle baby boy?  Have I said... Life is Good.  Dog Gone. 

Happy Birthday PC!

In one year, some things don't change.

 

You still find time to do things with your nieces that make them laugh and adore you even more.

Then, some things do change.

As you get ready to paint and prepare a room for your son.

The journey gets more interesting and there's no one else I'd rather share it with.  You are a wonderful husband and this little boy will be very lucky to have you as a father.  I love you, PC!  Happy Birthday!!!  

Boppy & need decorating advice!

I'm still laughing about all the scary rocker horse comments.  To be fair, I should probably post a pic sometime of the entire rocker to back-up my earlier statement that it looks like "it belongs in a museum."  That picture shows his "belongs in an asylum" features, lol!   

#1- Boppy- If you are pregnant or when you do get pregnant, I want to say the Boppy Total Body Pillow (shown in the middle of the day bed) has been great!  My mom bought it for me and I was weary at first because it just looked big and bulky but let me say "move over PC."  (Awww, for 20 more weeks anyway!)  I have just started sleeping in our guest room on the day bed because of 2-3 nightly trips to the bathroom and all the tossing and turning, and PC is a light sleeper so it's for both of us!  Anyway, I put pillows behind me and then wrap around the Boppy and it's the best I can do for comfortable side sleeping.

 

 #2- Decorating advice- I know there are some decorator/designer blog buddies out there and I need your help!  We have these built-ins on each side of our fireplace and I can't think of anything to do with them.  I love the storage space below but the top is so boring.  How would it look if I covered them with some type of fabric?  What else can I do with the space?  Any and all advice appreciated!
    

Mid-point ultrasound & scary rocker horse :]

First, I just wanted to say that the comments on the last post were great thoughts on childcare but I realized what I wrote (oops) sounded like my MIL could keep the baby full-time and I turned her down.  For several reasons, she would only be able to keep the baby 1-2 days a week unless we were in a real bind.  It would be ideal if I could find someone (or a great daycare) 2-3 days during the week  and the grandparents could do the other time... so I'll be praying for the right person or situation to cross our path in the next few months:]

Earlier this week we had our mid-point anatomy ultrasound...un-believable... and I'm beyond thankful that we've made it this far!  Surreal.  They scanned the brain, heart, arms, legs, boy parts, profile, bladder and he posed for each shot, lol.  The u/s tech called him Mr. Photogenic and I told her I hope that would be true after he gets here because I love to take pictures!  My mom has already brought up that too much flash may hurt his eyes...gracious... let the advice begin, right?   I have to show y'all one of my favorites... doesn't it look like he's flexing his muscles and showing out already?

It was a fun appointment and made things feel a little more real for us.  We won't get to see him again via u/s for several weeks so I hope that he starts moving around in there more frequently.  I also got blood drawn for what Dr. B6 called the 'quad screening' which checks for levels of four substances that indicate risk of Down's Syndrome, spina bifida, or Trisomy 18.  Dr. B6 says he doesn't see anything that causes concern and the main reason for the test would be knowledge and preparation if something did come back abnormal (which would mean more testing).  It's always nerve wrecking waiting on test results but I have a peace about everything.  I think the next test coming up is the one for gestational diabetes and then maybe I'll have those kinds of things behind me for the rest of the pregnancy.

Lastly, remember this post about scary rocker horse?  I promised a picture when it came to live with us and it now resides in the basement for the time being.  It didn't scare the dogs so maybe we'll be in luck when it comes to the baby:]  However, I rounded the corner last night and my heart nearly flew out of my chest... and I knew it was there!!!  What do y'all think?    That's real human hair, people.  Baby's friend or foe???

camping, childcare, etc.

Last weekend we went camping with PC's parents and his brother's family.  Please tell me... where will we put a baby... much less any baby stuff?!?

Yes, that is a small a/c unit.  We rigged it up on the screened porch end of the tent so that me and baby didn't get too miserably hot.  (I still think we were roughin it compared to the others with RV's complete with water, a/c, and bathrooms!) 
We had a good time.  We tricked my FIL by giving him a pink gift bag. There was a blue onesie inside that had "Team Grandpa" on it.  He has claimed from Day 1 that I was carrying his grandson so we wanted to have a little fun with that.  Really, he would have been happy with another little granddaughter to have wrapped around his finger but this little boy is coming after a long line of girls on PC's side so that's okay too!
In one of the baby conversations on the trip, SIL asked me if I had thought about childcare.  I told her I would like to find someone to keep him in their home or someone to come to our home rather than daycare until he's a little older. MIL told me (later) that her feelings were hurt because we hadn't asked her to keep the baby.  To tell the truth, I never thought about asking a grandparent to change their routine to keeping a baby 40+ hours a week.  Help us? Back-up?  Yes!  PC and I have known since we started TTC that we would be a two parent working home and we would just have to make it work like many other families in the same situation.  We wouldn't leave our child with just anyone and we wouldn't choose a daycare blindly... the grandmothers are going to have to trust us on that!  Whew!  Overwhelmed thinking about all this already!  

Boy oh Boy

120 miles + $40 + one cup of orange juice later

= one active little BOY on the way here :] 

Ecstatic!

Boy or Girl?

Wish we knew!  Arrrghhhh!  I have admiration for those of you who wait and want it to be a surprise!  I don't want to wait any longer but this little one is not about to unlock those legs despite all the pushing and pleading Dr. B6 was doing today!  The cord was wrapped in the middle area too so that further blocked any kind of "money shot."  SO... I called around this afternoon to find a place that does 3D/4D ultrasounds/gender scans and I asked them to work me in asap!  At this point, I'm willing to pay to find out pink or blue.  Any advice out there?  Should I drink a forbidden coke?  What can I do to get this little guy/girl moving around in there?!?  To be continued...

Humpday Hero Award

I am super excited to be today's recipient of the Humpday Hero Award over at The Stork Drop Zone!  I wrote a message to my readers in the post and honestly feel that the true award belongs right back to all of YOU!  Thank you so much to whoever felt I was worthy enough to receive the honor!  I wanted to display the button proudly so I opened my e-mail to ask Carlia how to do it and she had already sent instructions...awesome... a big thank you Carlia for creating the award and keeping the IF sisterhood even more connected:]

First Trimester Recap

Some co-workers were telling me they wrote to their child while they were pregnant, they read and sang to their belly, etc.  I thought about writing in a journal but I knew I would never keep up with it.  I told PC I was already behind in keeping some sort of record of this pregnancy and his response was "Did your mom do that?"  (No)  "Do you think my mom did that?" (No) "Then is it something you really have to do?" (Well, I guess not)  Then, it occurred to my pregnancy brain (save that for another post) that I have recorded my thoughts... a lot of them anyway... right here!!!  However, I have not included a weekly update so I'm going to improvise a little and use the list below for the First Trimester. 

How far along: Weeks 1-13

Symptoms: Some off and on nausea the first few weeks that subsided around week 9 (never threw up!), excessive saliva (very first symptom that has never went away... I went from lemon drops to bubble gum to just dealing with it), sore bbs just for the first couple of weeks, strange and vivid dreams, 1-2 nightly potty trips, tired most in the early afternoon, my least favorite- constipation, overall- just happy to be in this place

Baby Related Purchases:  To baby... love you dearly but you will find out that I'm always looking for bargains.  No worries, grandma has already loaded you up with some of the cutest things and is fussing at me about how her "grandbaby isn't going to have all used stuff."  Nevertheless, we've bought a used-but-in-excellent-condition pack-n-play, swing, monitor, a couple of outfits and a diaper genie.  We're looking and researching about things for you that will be all new such as a crib, furniture and travel system.        

Maternity clothes:  Yes, I can't button regular pants.  I've gained 5 pounds and I can't button over it or under it! 

Sleep: Wake up 1-2x a night to pee... if I can work in a mid-afternoon nap, one of my most favorite places to be is in the hammock chair on the back porch, oh so cozy... PC snapped a pic one afternoon

Best Moment of the Trimester:  Telling others, especially my mom

Strangest Moment:  It's been strange, in a good way, just to think about another little life growing inside of me!

Movement:  Not yet, but I am listening to your sweet heartbeat every day:]  

Cravings:  Salty & sour over sweet, just about everything I ate during the first six weeks I couldn't bear the thought of eating the next six weeks... felt bad for PC because that included his favorite, Mexican food.

Gender:  Have a prediction based on our last ultrasound, but waiting until our next appointment on July 5th to make it official.

Belly Button: In... is it supposed to pop out?  That will be freaky, I must say!

What I miss:  sushi (when a craving strikes) and I could use a little extra dose of energy... hoping that's around the corner 

What I am looking forward to: Second Trimester... finally announcing blue or pink...feeling movement

Weekly (or First Trimester) Wisdom:  Keep crackers or nuts or something in the car when hunger strikes!  Invest in expensive toilet paper for all the extra trips to the bathroom!  Read The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy.  Enjoy every single sweet second:]  

Milestones: The First Trimester!!! 

Sticky Bun is the size of: somewhere around a lemon and apple... when people ask how big you are, I speak in terms of fruit!!!

And... the end of the first trimester bump...

Random-ness

We have been failing in the furbaby parent department. Our Gentle Giant (below) has had a persistent skin problem on his chest area since he was a puppy.  We haven't ignored it but we've just kept it under control with meds, regular vet checks and daily brushing.  The groomer told us last week those things are just not giving him enough relief:[  So, our precious big boy (in addition to what we've already been doing) is now on a gluten free diet (btw- Rachel Ray dry dog food is good stuff), topped with yogurt and omega oils and a nightly spray on his chest of diluted apple cider vinegar and white vinegar in the ears.  He stinks, but it already seems to be helping! 

I wanted to respond to the question about the fetal doppler.  I bought the Contec pocket fetal doppler with LCD that sells on Amazon from $58-80 depending on whether or not it has the LCD screen.  There's another one advertised (Hi Bebe) for $99 and it has more reviews.  The one I bought works fine as you can gather from my last post.  I use lotion instead of any gel and (so far) our little one stays in about the same place so the heartbeat has been fairly easy to find.  I'm looking forward to feeling movement and this tool gives me some reassurance until that happens, or while I'm waiting on the next ultrasound.  I recommend one... the ob/gyn said it's very safe and I can use it as much as I want.  I've pulled it out for my nieces, the grandparents and just about anyone who comes through our front door!  

Book recommendation- I have a very good friend- thank you LP- who has passed on some great baby items to me along with a book, The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy.  I highly recommend this book when you get your BFP!  The author (a former play.boy centerfold, btw) tried for over three years to conceive so she also knows that it's just not that easy.  She writes from the perspective of what your girlfriends would tell you about pregnancy rather than your doctor, and it's hilarious but full of good information at the same time.  There are short statements throughout the book for DH to read too!

Speaking of DH, I didn't get him a gift as a father-to-be but I hope that we have many, many years ahead to celebrate.  If this is a baby boy, it's my hope that he turns out to be a mini-PC in every possible way (well... with two exceptions... eating habits and computer preference)!  The world would be better place with another man just like him!  :]

Have a great week blog friends!!!

Hello, My name is Miss Mac...

and I'm a fetal doppler junkie.  Must get my heartbeat fix daily!  Today's fix... 154 bpm :]