I need to learn...

how to RELAX. PC and I just got back from an overnight stay at a B.ed & B.reakfast to celebrate our 4 year anniversary! We worked in couples massages & the lady kept telling me "just relax" and I realized that's not so easy for me. Not the same as the "maybe if you just relax" infertility advice... I want to tell those people where to shove it. It's the kind of relax that involves new people & new situations. Like during the massage (new situation) I was thinking "this is pretty good money for an hour--what are we going to do after this--what time is check out--how much should we tip--I have to pee"... sad, isn't it? I guess she sensed that & thus the "just relax" comments. And at the break.fast (new people) some people were talking about some things that were interesting to me but I didn't want to join in the conversation for fear of... what? I don't know! Saying something stupid- shouldn't matter, especially when that's the only time we'll ever see those people again! I did start tuning out when the conversation turned to their kids...how old...how many... but I can't run from those conversations all of my life either. I'm an introvert--G.oogle says I'm a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. It's true. New people & situations make me tired! But I want to get better? at this if that's a possibility. The only way that I can think of improving here is to... just do it. Take risks. Take a class. Give a speech. Go to a party. How do some people make this look so easy? Social butterflies out there... what's the secret?

Charlie

Dog lovers- let me tell you about Charlie. I wanted to come up with a pseudo-blog name, but he is just 100% Charlie. PC & I thought that the Gol.den Re.triever was the only dog breed for us but we have been smitten by the Newfound.land. Fallen completely head-over-heels for this 4 month old, 48 lb. (yep) bear cub-looking, food-loving, massive head of black fur-sporting bundle of fun! So... we were making fun of his awkard sideways gallop/run and then he jumped in the pond next door and put us in awe! This clumsy, silly, but oh so sweet, dog gets into the water and effortlessly glides around as smooth as a paddle boat! He does come complete with webbed feet to help out and his breed is happiest when they are in the water, but it is amazing to watch!!! Even Apple is staring at him... she is not quite convinced that swimming is that much fun yet!
If only--- we could add a little not-so-furry baby to this family......
life is good would get even better:]

My First Long Swim

Thrill of a Deal

First... I spoke too soon about my cycles becoming regular. March wasn't so nice to me & AF stuck around way too long, disappeared for a couple of days and decided to show up again! Sigh.

So- for the title of this post... does anyone else get really excited when you find a really good deal? I do! I love a good sale or a good coupon! One example... PC and I will be celebrating our anniversary next week and have decided to go for an overnight trip to a cool city within 2 1/2 hours of driving distance. I found one B.ed and B.reakfast that had the biggest suite available for only one night. So, I called & negotiated with them & we now have this suite, along with couples' massages, scheduled with a savings of $150+! I also have a few websites that help me when we have a specific purchase in mind- fatwallet.com, retailmenot.com, pricegrabber.com, currentcodes.com- are bookmarked. Recently, I went to a "g.old party" where you take old jewelry pieces that are broken or earrings that are missing a match... and got $80 for three pieces that haven't come out of my jewelry box in more than 10 years. SO- now... how could I get a discount on an IVF cycle? Insurance covers nothing. Grrrrr.
Sometimes, I think this embarrasses PC... like the time that I took in a coupon for a free meal at C.aptain D's and asked for a to-go box so that I could eat the rest of it for lunch the next day. Is that too cheap? And- never have a garage sale with PC. I expect for people to negotiate and he tells anyone that asks "no, that's nearly new" and gets mad when someone asks for a dollar less on his "precious stuff" (that he hasn't worn or used in years)! No, he doesn't quite share my enthusiasm for a good deal. So, does anyone have any good tips or websites for stretching the dollar?

What is UP in the world?

I had a rotten afternoon at work. Basically, I got a phone call from someone who was h*llbent on making sure that I was not going to violate a policy that I didn't even know was a policy to begin with. So, since that's griped me all afternoon & PC has heard all about it-- I'm moving on. But in the conversation of venting to PC, we both talked about similar situations at work even though we work in two completely different fields. People have lost focus (or so it seems) on what matters most in their job and instead there is so much concentrating on pettiness and things that really shouldn't matter so much? Everyone at work...church... (seems to be) WOUND TIGHT!!! Economy? Maybe. But what happened to people focusing on making their lives & the world better? I'm reading aloud to PC & he would like to write a guest blog... sure, why not? Y'all don't hold me responsible for his thoughts:]

Tales from the Gon*ds........

Hello out there in IF world. I have been reading my charming wife's blog for the past year and have certainly learned a lot of new acronyms that I never new existed. Other than just learning all of the confusing acronyms, reading her blog and the comments left on it has helped me understand how IF truly affects our beloved spouses. Trust me, IF isn't fun for those of us with the Y chromosome but it is undoubtedly much tougher on the fairer s.ex. Let's face it, during our IUI cycles my part really wasn't that complicated, except for the container - that was kind of different. I digress, sorry about that, let's get back to the main reason for my guest posting tonight. I for one, being a male, can say that I am guilty of not letting my emotions about IF show most of the time. I know a lot of times it comes across to Mac that I don't seem as emotionally invested in our IF situation as her. Some of you probably feel the same way about your husband. I am taking this blog time to apologize for that on behalf of all of us tripods. We live in a testosterone induced haze and have difficulty showing emotions, especially on subjects as sensitive as IF. I for one am continually amazed by how great my wife handles everything and works out a plan for us to overcome IF. I know if it was left to me I would do the typical male thing and probably not admit anything is wrong and then postpone it until later, kind of like the way we postpone cleaning the carport or mowing the lawn. Thank God women think different than men when it comes to matters like these. Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to say on behalf of all of the males out there, "Please forgive us when we seem like we don't get it. The truth is that we really do get it, we just have a hard time letting it show, it's a male thing." Love you Mac!!

PC out.

WOW. I didn't expect that & I'm married to him! I thought he was typing away over there about how everyone seems so snippy in the world... I don't care if this blog exist for nothing else than to "hear" that... speechless on a blog?!? Now you all know why I adore this guy & why he would be a wonderful father!

Happy Blogiversary to Me!

Wow! Really? One year ago I posted "Mac and PC Enter blogworld!" Rewind to one year ago...
Where have I been? I've heard the term 'blog' but never gave it much thought until my never-ending quest to find one more fertility fact led me to another world that I enjoy weaving into my schedule. We are MAC- that's me...and PC- yes, he's Prince Charming, but our names also represent many discussions about who owns the better technological companion. Let's sum up the past four years. Met PC, married within a year and didn't waste any time trying to conceive. As it turns out, my ovaries have decided they will waste all the time they choose... three years without ovulating on my own. In getting to this diagnosis- here's my checklist for those interested: Laparoscopy, check. Clomid, check. Femara, check. Post coital, check. HSG, check. Bloodwork, check. IUI with meds, check. IUI with meds again, check. Herbs, check. Insurance to cover any of this, unfortunately not. And now? Getting second opinions... looking for someone who will say "Let's find out WHY your body doesn't do what it's supposed to!" And PC... Bloodwork, check. Semen analysis, check. Totally supportive and adorable, check! This could be another infertility blog, but I choose instead to make it my online get-away to discuss anything that's on my mind and close to my heart. That may be infertility, but then again- it may not be. To be continued...
Not much has changed in the IF life except that I can add acupuncture to the list and it will soon be 4 years that we've been TTC:[ We did get the second opinion, which was "IVF looks like your best chance"... so we're saving $ and still hoping for a miracle in the mean time. This blog has been therapy... it has allowed me to connect with some incredible women who've been "dealt the same hand" and know, understand & relate to my life in a way that many others cannot. The only people who know this blog exists IRL are PC & one close friend. It's been a safe refuge for my thoughts & a source of encouragement for myself & others... thanks to all who have followed along.