I've been thinking... (IF Vent #3)

... about how pregnancy is achieved so easily for some. How is that?!? I've learned much more about the female reproductive system than I've ever cared to over the past 3 years. Obviously those who deal with IF get the fine print version. Like when you get something with an instructional manual & it doesn't work so you turn to the back where it says "If it didn't happen... then maybe..." or "Try this..." Most of the time I've taken something back by then! Maybe the next time I visit the RE I'll say... "I'd like a refund on these ovaries please!" I was great with thinking that sperm meets egg-- sounds easy enough! But then when it didn't happen cycle after cycle, I started the 4 r's of IF... reading/researching/relying on specialists/ranting on blogger. ---- Let me get this straight... my cycle is managed from my brain when the hypotha.lamus sends a message to the pitu.itary at just the right time and both must have just the right amount of FSH & LH (don't forget estrogen/progesterone) to release an egg at just the right moment which must travel to just the right place to meet with just the right swimmer--- and this happens all the time!?!  I'd just like the chance to not worry about my brain not sending the right signal to increase the right hormone needed to stimulate a mature follicle to release a viable egg... wouldn't this seem like a reasonable request? Is it a mystery to anyone else how this happens right on cue (planned and not planned) for so many???

Infertility Vent 2

Yesterday I had 5 vials of blood drawn for various tests, had 1 orange drink to test Glucose, had to wait 2 hours to get 1 more vial of blood drawn. Then, I had 1 ultrasound where 1 cyst was seen & 1 additional vial of blood was drawn and the end results: 1 pack of birth control pills! Good Friday didn't start out so great! BCPs put the whole IF process in neutral (or reverse) but the intention is to regulate hormones for one cycle and try to reduce the cyst. On the bright side, the day was spent with PC and later in the evening with a good friend and... we're one weekend closer to a much needed vacation!

Infertility Vent 1

This was an especially long and hard week in the infertile world.
First, not ovulating can have different effects on different people. Some may not have cycles at all, some may skip cycles and then (lucky me to be in this category) some have cycles that seem to never end. So, here I am still being visited by AF on day 13, yuck.
I led a meeting with a group of colleagues on Monday and asked if anyone had anything to add to the discussion... and a pregnancy is announced. Of course, I plaster a smile on my face and chime in on the congratulations. What makes this announcement more difficult is that she was married 8 weeks after me and PC. I have moved into the stage of IF where it feels like expectant mothers (the waitress, the nurse, the cashier) are everywhere I turn. Everywhere but in the mirror. I think it's perfectly acceptable to say what I feel during these times- this stinks!