What is UP in the world?

I had a rotten afternoon at work. Basically, I got a phone call from someone who was h*llbent on making sure that I was not going to violate a policy that I didn't even know was a policy to begin with. So, since that's griped me all afternoon & PC has heard all about it-- I'm moving on. But in the conversation of venting to PC, we both talked about similar situations at work even though we work in two completely different fields. People have lost focus (or so it seems) on what matters most in their job and instead there is so much concentrating on pettiness and things that really shouldn't matter so much? Everyone at work...church... (seems to be) WOUND TIGHT!!! Economy? Maybe. But what happened to people focusing on making their lives & the world better? I'm reading aloud to PC & he would like to write a guest blog... sure, why not? Y'all don't hold me responsible for his thoughts:]

Tales from the Gon*ds........

Hello out there in IF world. I have been reading my charming wife's blog for the past year and have certainly learned a lot of new acronyms that I never new existed. Other than just learning all of the confusing acronyms, reading her blog and the comments left on it has helped me understand how IF truly affects our beloved spouses. Trust me, IF isn't fun for those of us with the Y chromosome but it is undoubtedly much tougher on the fairer s.ex. Let's face it, during our IUI cycles my part really wasn't that complicated, except for the container - that was kind of different. I digress, sorry about that, let's get back to the main reason for my guest posting tonight. I for one, being a male, can say that I am guilty of not letting my emotions about IF show most of the time. I know a lot of times it comes across to Mac that I don't seem as emotionally invested in our IF situation as her. Some of you probably feel the same way about your husband. I am taking this blog time to apologize for that on behalf of all of us tripods. We live in a testosterone induced haze and have difficulty showing emotions, especially on subjects as sensitive as IF. I for one am continually amazed by how great my wife handles everything and works out a plan for us to overcome IF. I know if it was left to me I would do the typical male thing and probably not admit anything is wrong and then postpone it until later, kind of like the way we postpone cleaning the carport or mowing the lawn. Thank God women think different than men when it comes to matters like these. Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to say on behalf of all of the males out there, "Please forgive us when we seem like we don't get it. The truth is that we really do get it, we just have a hard time letting it show, it's a male thing." Love you Mac!!

PC out.

WOW. I didn't expect that & I'm married to him! I thought he was typing away over there about how everyone seems so snippy in the world... I don't care if this blog exist for nothing else than to "hear" that... speechless on a blog?!? Now you all know why I adore this guy & why he would be a wonderful father!

Happy Blogiversary to Me!

Wow! Really? One year ago I posted "Mac and PC Enter blogworld!" Rewind to one year ago...
Where have I been? I've heard the term 'blog' but never gave it much thought until my never-ending quest to find one more fertility fact led me to another world that I enjoy weaving into my schedule. We are MAC- that's me...and PC- yes, he's Prince Charming, but our names also represent many discussions about who owns the better technological companion. Let's sum up the past four years. Met PC, married within a year and didn't waste any time trying to conceive. As it turns out, my ovaries have decided they will waste all the time they choose... three years without ovulating on my own. In getting to this diagnosis- here's my checklist for those interested: Laparoscopy, check. Clomid, check. Femara, check. Post coital, check. HSG, check. Bloodwork, check. IUI with meds, check. IUI with meds again, check. Herbs, check. Insurance to cover any of this, unfortunately not. And now? Getting second opinions... looking for someone who will say "Let's find out WHY your body doesn't do what it's supposed to!" And PC... Bloodwork, check. Semen analysis, check. Totally supportive and adorable, check! This could be another infertility blog, but I choose instead to make it my online get-away to discuss anything that's on my mind and close to my heart. That may be infertility, but then again- it may not be. To be continued...
Not much has changed in the IF life except that I can add acupuncture to the list and it will soon be 4 years that we've been TTC:[ We did get the second opinion, which was "IVF looks like your best chance"... so we're saving $ and still hoping for a miracle in the mean time. This blog has been therapy... it has allowed me to connect with some incredible women who've been "dealt the same hand" and know, understand & relate to my life in a way that many others cannot. The only people who know this blog exists IRL are PC & one close friend. It's been a safe refuge for my thoughts & a source of encouragement for myself & others... thanks to all who have followed along.

No O

I didn't ovulate. Progesterone= .7 :[

Bitter

Last week I went to W.al M.art to pick up some pictures at the 1 hour photo.
Synopsis: Teen 1 and young grandma waiting on pictures, infant in stroller/carrier, with Teen 2 coming up to see the baby.

Teen 1: Where's your baby?

Teen 2: She's with my mom.
Teen 1: What did you name her?
Teen 2: Skylar
Enter Teen 3, W.al M.art worker, who obviously knows Teen 1 and Teen 2--also has a baby at home-- & joins in on the conversation.
Teen 3 to Teen 2: You still with (boyfriend's name)?
Teen 2: No, I heard he's with another Amanda... he seems to like that name. (Laughter) He's got her 3 months pregnant.

Yes, I felt bitter. And a little heartbroken. No need to elaborate...

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I still haven't made a decision about the clinical study. I don't have a very good feeling or very bad feeling about it... so I've just done nothing yet.

Yesterday, I went to the OB/GYN to get bloodwork for Day 22 progesterone check. I've blogged about the past 3 cycles being normal-- yeah-- but I gave up on OP.K's a long time ago because of irregular cycles. So, if I am truly having a typical 28 day cycle this test will answer the big question... am I ovulating? I should get the results back on Monday.

The puppies are enjoying some cool new beds we ordered for them... they are the same price as big pillows that quickly become chew toys & nothing more than a big mess. These should last a lot longer. I ordered large & it's so hard to believe that they will barely fit on these in a few months!

Thanks for "listening" out there! Now on to catching up & commenting on some blogs I follow...

Clinical Study Opportunity

A fellow blogger- Thank You TID- told me about a clinical study that I might be eligible to participate in. I've been on the phone with the coordinator today and I do qualify & received a consent form this afternoon. It involves taking C.lomid & using a patch instead of injectables for a 21 day cycle. The benefits- FREE & designed just for women with an.ovulatory cycles. The negative- requires 10 office visits & this is a really hard time of year to be out of work that much, it seems like my cycles are just now regulating- would it be a mistake... trying to think it through. I've asked PC's advice but he can't think past the part that says "must have intercourse for 3x's a week for the duration of the study"... his response: where do we sign up? Here's another part of the study- I could be selected for the control group & it's a gamble that I give up this time for nothing more than sugar pills & lots of blood work. We have to decide pretty quick since the study is taking place right now. Any thoughts?