Ready (Jan) Set (Feb) Go (March)

We're at least moving into the 'Ready' phase here. Today was AF-Day 1, IVF-phone consult, MRI and Acupuncture! My body seems to be on the procrastinate and cram schedule!

I called the IVF nurse to let her know this is cycle day 1. For IVF/blog purposes, I'll refer to her as Nurse LLD, which stands for Lunch Lady Doris... this is her in the cartoon version. Same voice, same no-nonsense, same get it done attitude who (you get the impression) probably turns around and rolls her eyes...or takes a smoke break... when people irritate her. PC and I instantly liked Nurse LLD! She told me we will start lupron on day 21, do a baseline u/s & one other procedure with the next menses to get this IVF going. This will put injections/stims around mid to the end of February and ER/ET around the first of March. But nothing about the IVF timeline is truly predictable, right?

The MRI-
Conversation between me & PC earlier today.

Me-"This is really one of the last tests I know of to check my infertility/hormonal issues."
PC- "If this shows something is wrong, will it mean a plan B?"
Me- "If I have an active pituitary tumor, I guess it could mean removing it. Brain surgery."
PC- "Is that covered by insurance?"
Me- "It should be."
PC- "Then that would probably be cheaper than IVF."
Me- "Is that the bright side?"

Why can't we just come home and ask "How was your day today, honey?" Sigh.

Acupuncture 'Before IVF' #2-
Dr. C said there had been a lot of TTC ladies in his office today. Yep. He said I was my "usual tensed up self" and I gave him a recap of my day. Yep.

My constant racing thoughts problem was kind of fun during acupuncture today. I made a mental image/list of "good to great" things to get me through the next few weeks. A top 10 of things that I love + some honorable mentions in good (1) to great (10) order.

1. Sweet Tea, it can even be decaffeinated, just sweet+tea
2. A good book, a good movie, or both!
3. Birding
4. Reading/Writing/Stalking Blogs
5. Petting and brushing the puppies (super cheap calming effect)
6. A Girls Night Out
7. Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake, must work this in the schedule somewhere.
8. Thinking Dreaming about... spring & summer days ahead!
9. Thinking Dreaming about... two.pink.lines.
10. Dinner and Date Nights with sweet PC:]

This post has gotten too long for the honorable mentions but feel free to share some things on your good to great, get through IVF, list!

To Laugh or Cry?

I choose to laugh. The e-mail of the day between Mac and PC.
A glimpse into our crazy L'IF'E!

Waiting Game...

IVF 2011 update: Still waiting on everything... AF, meds, schedule, financial clearance, BFP!

I have an MRI scheduled for this Friday to check out the pituitary area and another 'acupuncture before IVF' after that.

Here lately I've been letting my mind and heart go to places that I've avoided for a long time. Like actually scanning the baby stuff in stores when I walk by, thinking of potential names, imagining ways to share the news of a BFP and saying hello again to those darn 'I wonders.'

PC is totally on board with the IVF plan but very worried about me if this doesn't turn out how we want it to. He wants reassurance that I would be okay if it does not work. I've told him the givens 1- I want the answers from IVF about ovulation & eggs regardless of the outcome 2- life and the mission to 'make each day count' will go on 3- I love him very much and that won't change. Anything other than that is unknown territory and I would have to deal with those feelings & emotions in my own way, on my own time. At this point, I just want to get this process started and take it one step at a time!

FYI- I was informed by PC that my pics of the fur babies did them no justice so I've pulled that post until I can get better pet portraits... like that's an easy thing to do!

From B*tch & Gripe to Blogs & Gratitude!

Reverse (infertility) psychology... "AF, I don't need you to get here so I can start IVF. Take your sweet time and skip if you want to this cycle. I know a skipped cycle doesn't mean a BFP, but rather that I don't ovulate. Thanks for being such a faithful reminder that my efforts in baby-making have failed!"

I should probably lose the attitude during IVF. I'm hoping it's PMS!

I called my ob/gyn (Dr. B6) today and asked his nurse to see about ordering an MRI of the pituitary gland for me. I really haven't come across many blogs where this was done in the multitude of IF diagnostic tests but I want to do it for a couple of reasons 1- a pituitary adenomyoma can cause anovulation 2- what's one more test in the world of IF? I don't have headaches. I don't want to think about an adenomyoma hanging out in my brain. But I don't ovulate and this would be one more piece of the puzzle. I'm not sure why I even feel the need to explain this to IF'ers... resilient women who would go to the ends of the earth if it meant one step closer to the prize! Thanks out there in blog world for listening/crying/screaming/laughing along with me and letting me do the same in each of your lives. A blog should be on the treatment list right.before.Clomid! :]

Add emotional... gotta be PMS!

IVF Meds=!@%#!

Yesterday afternoon I called the IVF nurse/coordinator to let her know I'm still eager to get things going with IVF but that I've been playing phone tag with the financial clearance person. She said we could go ahead & get the meds ordered. She told me the specifics of what I would need and that I could call pharmacies for prices. And then things started unraveling from there.

I made a stupid mistake when planning & budgeting for everything. I interpreted the information about discounts from the Ferring Heart Program wrong. I thought the FHP discount would put our total for meds around $2500. Imagine my disappointment and disgust when I called the pharmacy & they gave me the total of $4860+$10 program enrollment fee to get the discount (!@%#!). This price is for Bravelle & Menopur, 10 days worth, WITH the discount. In addition to being disappointed & disgusted, I came home feeling defeated because it makes us $2300 short.

I realize one reason these meds are expensive is because pharmaceutical companies have to make a profit and price goes up with less volume. But why does it feel like such a trap? Think of all the unused vials out there that go to waste or are used for injection training purposes because of FDA guidelines. Add that to the "IF sucks because... list!"

Things looked a little brighter when PC reminded me that was just one pharmacy and he would see what he could find out online. By the time he was finished, he had made a spreadsheet of different pharmacies and price comparisons. See exhibit A below.

How sweet is he? How lucky am I? He lifts me up when I need it most and sees the glass half full when I think it's beyond empty! If we are able to use some of the pharmacies he found online, we can get the cost closer to $3000. These meds better stimulate the economy ovaries in a major way!