Goodbye "C", You will be missed!

Last night, PC & I lost a very special part of our family- our dog "C." I've written about him in earlier posts. He had just turned 3 and though we would have wished for many more years, we were lucky to have the past 3 with him. He was full of personality and had a smile that won over friends and strangers. Our hearts are broken and it will take awhile to heal. Here are 10 silly, crazy "C" habits and why he was so special...
1. His "smile."
2. His love for swimming, water and fetching (especially golf balls).
3. He loved to "perform" sit, down, roll over, up, stay, come- he loved to show off!
4. He put his backside in your face to be petted... always made us laugh.
5. His love for riding in the Jeep... it will be hard not to see him back there.
6. His mischief habits... quickly running off with a sock, or glove, or one of my hair bands, knowing we were going to be right behind him.
7. His favorite game...rolling a small ball with you.
8. How he "knew" your emotions & was right beside you if were upset, scared, happy..."feeling the same."
9. His curvy/straight hair!
10. All of the above made a special place in our memories and hearts:] He will be missed!

Let me cry, scream, curse...!!!

Dr. H. put me on prog.esterone to stop a never-ending AF. It stopped for 3 days. It wasn't too bad for the rest of the time but-still- I was hoping for some sense of normalcy back during that time. Yesterday was my follow- up appt. and AF came back so strong that I could be facing surgery in the next couple of days if it doesn't slow down. Dr. H. had no answers for why only suggestion of taking MORE of the hormone that I'm pretty sure has a lot to do with where I'm at right now. Hence, the reason for the title of this post! I'm hitting an all-time female problems LOW point right now. I can't go through IVF in this condition... and there's no chance of TTC at all in this condition. The cramping and everything else is so severe that I'm at home today, unable to function enough to do my job. I do not have a plan except for I made an appt. with a new ob/gyn and an "emergency" acc.upuncture appt. Having a baby doesn't look within my reach anymore.

infertile ramblings

I've been blog-browsing a little this weekend (much more fun than starting a paper) and I've come across at least 3 other ladies who were on Depo-provera for an extended time and our profiles are very similar. We all have trouble starting a period and then it comes with a vengeance and we have trouble getting it to stop and ovulation... what's that? I took DP several years ago to manage heavy/painful periods, but in trying to solve those problems I think it created some of the mess I'm in now. Infertility sucks. Some days more than others. I have no clue what day of a cycle this is. I am taking progesterone daily to get rid of an AF who stayed much longer than welcome and have a follow up with Dr. H. (ob/gyn) to check out levels after taking these meds. It just shouldn't be this hard. I have 4 wonderful, strong friends around me going through IF (and many more in blog land) and I want their success as much as I want it for myself. I truly celebrate when I read a blog success story and hope for technology or intervention that makes IF blogs a thing of the past!

B-Day

Another birthday today... 32, just enough to officially leave the 20's:[ Even though 3 years ago I thought my life would look different by now, namely that we would have a child, I'm thankful that..
I have wonderful family & friends, I've met some goals, I have all my basic needs met every day and the list goes on. Here's to 32 & claiming it as a year to enjoy each day to the fullest & making it count!
P.S. It's also going to be a year to learn how to play a guitar... thank you PC!!!

Happy Camper?

I have been totally out of the blog world loop lately. I've been taking an online course and that has been consuming a lot of my time. I do have an update on AF- finally gone, but it took a trip to the OB/GYN and medicine to stop it. The plan is to go back in 3 weeks after Dr. H. has had time to consult with an oncologist and a reproductive specialist that he knows before figuring out what to do next and why my cycles are never-ending. He said that I am definitely a challenge (ya think?). Last weekend I had a violent hit-hard-&-strong stomach flu... 24 hours of complete yuck! I am hoping that the change of season brings me good health and better luck with female cycles:] PC & I have been looking for the past two years for a tiny camper to take when his family invites us camping. We've been staying with MIL and... no offense... but we were just ready for our own space, just enough for two... actually, there's plenty of room for three:] So, we finally came across this one recently and we'll be taking it off to the mountains in a few weeks. I think it's cute and just right! There's nothing like a campfire and sleeping to the sound of a creek! Even the bath houses are not so bad for a cheap vacation! Hope all my fellow bloggers are doing well and hope to catch up with several of you soon!