Tagged... 20 questions

Tag, I’m it… from Poli at BabyHopes.  I am thankful because I needed a distraction since my last couple of posts about pregnancy announcements and injection meltdowns.   

There are two rules and twenty questions.

Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?
One medium, one large and one giant dog occupy own our basement.  We just rent the upstairs from them:]  Members!    

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?  See #3 

3. What would you do with a billion dollars?  Go the surrogacy route!  Go on a permanent vacation, taking friends and family along the way.  Eating fancy food and hiring a personal fitness trainer to balance out!  Buy another Jeep.  Buy PC a custom mountain bike... and a mountain to ride it on!         

4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?  Friday, a combination of flip-flops-sunny days-Jeep rides, new magazines, date nights/PC hugs, and the family members mentioned in #1 

5. What is your bedtime routine?
Brush teeth, wash face, put my hair in a ponytail and tell PC I love him…oh and take a vitamin complete with 400 mg of folic acid

6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? My boss at the time had a dream about us, came to work the next day and asked if she could give him my number, he called, we met and married less than a year later.  Dream come True:]

7. What kind of books do you read?  I like anything except the murder/mystery stuff.   

8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?  Hopefully, mostly debt-free with a mini Mac or PC.

9. What’s your fear?  Fear of failure and letting people down. 

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity of unlimited travel to any place(s) on earth, whenever, for however long, and free of charge?  Nope, what fun is a road trip without junk food?

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?  Say "five more minutes."  Then (after 10) turn on Fox News and get in the shower.   

12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?  He would share my enthusiasm for a game of Scrabble, or at least pretend. 

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?  wouldn't change my name

14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?  sunshine, all the time! 

15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?  Ramen noodles:]  

16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?  The relationships.  The advice.  The support.  It is therapy. 

17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods? Sweet (and I love sour candy)

18. What items are in your purse right now?  wallet, coupons, pen, pencil, sticky notes and germ-x

19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?  I live in the mountains so I want a vacation at the beach! 

20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?  The shouldn’t part is only because I probably should be doing something more constructive… but Glee and Grey’s make me laugh, love TLC shows, American Idol, and my newest favorite is Pawn Stars

Tag, you’re it to anyone who would like to play:]

Injection #1=Lupron sucks already!

Omg.  The follistim pen was a piece of cake compared to Lupron.  First injection this morning and it didn't go so well.  I took the syringe out before turning it over and medicine sprayed out.  Stress.  Last night, I found conflicting  instructions- one said to do 20 units and another said 10 units.  I did 20 units this morning and have placed a call to the nurse to get this worked out.  More stress.  I kept seeing air bubbles and PC reminded me how dangerous those were.  He was really sweet and trying to be helpful but... add it to the stress!  That stuff really stings!  Major stress!  And I lay here typing this instead of getting ready for work because all that stress was followed by throwing up and almost passing out.  I keep asking PC what went wrong... he said I didn't do anything wrong as far as the injection but I let the stress get the best of me.

I know... suck it up... there's a lot more to come!  I'm amazed at all of the strong, amazing women who have gone through this more than once.  I understand why but after one little injection I am just amazed.  Can you please tell this wimp how to avoid a scenario like this every morning?   
 

Prayer

Several weeks ago, our pastor said that his heart was heavy and he wanted to pray for some very specific situations that some of us were going through... one was couples who were having trouble conceiving.  Two other couples went forward and PC and I responded as well.  In that moment, I was thinking "why would we refuse extra prayers and support" but it was very hard to expose something so personal with that many people.  

Today, I received this e-mail:

 Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that the Lord has answered our prayers and I am pregnant and due September 9!!!  I have been walking around in complete shock for a couple of weeks. :0) Thank you for your prayers and support.  Know that we will continue to pray for you and ----. I know the pain and frustration of hearing yet another person is pregnant, but I also know deep down in my heart that he has a plan that will surpass even your wildest dreams for you and your family.  If there is one thing that I have learned through all of this is that He is in control even when I didn't want Him to be or think He was.   I finally had to accept that His plan for me was good even if it wasn't my plan.  Now, I can't wait to see how He will answer your prayers.  :0) 

 P.S.  Please keep praying that we will have a healthy pregnancy and baby when the time comes.  I am trying not to worry to much.  :0)

I think it is very sweet of her to personally e-mail me.  Only someone who has faced infertility would understand how thoughtful that is.  When anyone in the infertile-blogosphere announces a pregnancy, I cheer and celebrate with them.  So why is my heart so heavy right now when this is a precious friend who has fought the same battle?  I couldn't reply to her.  My fingers wouldn't move to type words of celebration because my heart couldn't go there.  I feel selfish.  I feel broken.  I want this to be her time and I want her to have a healthy, happy baby but I want it too.  For the other two families who exposed our pain that day... we also want that answered prayer.  

ICLW... welcome to Mac and PC!

This is my first time participating in ICLW and I'm excited to be able to leave and receive some comments from some new people as well as those on my blog list (some of which I still have not left comments, sorry... hopefully that will soon change).  

Why Mac and PC?  Our pseudo-blog names simply come from who thinks they have the better operating system.  

As far as computers go, of course I think I win!  As far as my reproductive operating system, I'm failing miserably:[  We've been TTC for 5 1/2 years with nothing but a B.F.N. to show for it.  I am anovulatory and have a partially blocked left tube.  My latest test results leave the RE to believe that I am borderline premature ovarian failure (gulp).  In three days, I will start suppressing the ovaries (they should be good at that) with Lupron to get our first IVF cycle going!  I have had a couple of acupuncture appointments recently and plan to time another one later in the IVF cycle.  It's one among many things on the list of "yes, I've tried it" that just makes me feel better, so why not!  I am a few months away from the dreaded 35, and you know what they say about that... but since when did infertility stop us from what we say?  I We say that it IS our time for two pink (or blue) lines:]  I wish everyone a happy ending in this journey that none of us asked for... thanks for letting me join in the ranting, shouting, crying, supporting, praying, hoping, cheering, and helping that takes place in the blog world.  Let me know if you are a new follower so that I can find and follow you too!  

P.S.  I've apologized recently for anything negative I might say due to several days ON progesterone and OFF of caffeine, but thankfully everyone here completely understands!

Meds & Money

Just taking progesterone here and sorting out the massive amount of medications!  

I've been taking the progesterone at night so my mean-ness seems to be reserved more for the night than during the day, yay?!?  PC says I even kicked him out of bed last night, which I really don't remember.  I do remember being very dizzy!    

By the way, the instructions read:  
Take 2 Capsules Every Evening For 12 Days.  Insert One Capsule Vaginally the AM of Embryo Transfer. Someone please enlighten me and forgive me for asking about a TMI topic...but seriously?  I don't get it.   I take 24 of these lovely capsules the way I would normally take medicine and then #25 gets to go on a field trip?  The shots sound a lot easier to me.  In and Out.  But #25 is causing me to have a lot of how...why... really... then what thoughts!  This also doesn't tell me whether this takes place before or after the ET.  Hmmm..... 

On the homefront... we sold our Jeep Wrangler yesterday.  I've never really had any attachments to a vehicle but I sure did love that Jeep!  PC and I are doing a "snowball debt diet" where we pay off smaller debt then put that payment towards bigger debt etc.  The Jeep was a big expense that was not helping us with that plan.  The only "big ticket" debt we have is our mortgage and my college loans, but there are some smaller things that keep us from having financial freedom.  If IVF works, we want to be in a better place financially... and a Jeep really wouldn't be the best vehicle for transporting baby(ies) would it?  I have to keep playing those thoughts in my head because all I can think about is how much fun I had driving this...

 

Can't wait to get caught up on some blog reading this evening but right now I'm off to soak up some sunshine (finally) and clean up our basement:]