Breastfeeding... I thought we were friends!

Something is going wrong with breastfeeding.  It feels like I'm on a downward spiral and I only have two more weeks until returning to work.  I think there are some good formulas on the market and I supplement about 2 oz each evening before his bedtime.  However, I have worked so hard these first 10 weeks to breastfeed that I would like to continue as long as I can. 
In a nutshell, if I pump, there is not enough for the next feeding... so I started supplementing that feeding with pumped breastmilk... which totally defeats the purpose.  Now I pump between 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. since that is such a long stretch between feedings but it's not going to be enough for that first day I return to work.  It's weird because he has pulled off and acted irritated like he wants more, but then the times between feedings have grown longer recently.
I have sought out so much information about breastfeeding and have tried suggestions through the LC, blogs and reading materials.  I am eating oatmeal, drinking more water, doing the massage techniques to help during pumping, etc.  I will say I am not eating like I should... eating a late breakfast and usually I either have a good lunch or supper but not both.
I read somewhere that once you start supplementing or pulling from the fridge/freezer stash you are telling your body to "make 2 oz less" but why should that be the case if I pump when he gets that extra 2 oz during a long stretch until the next feeding?  Also, does anyone have a baby that sleeps a long stretch like 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. who maintains their supply?  This has only happened once or twice but the baby is my alarm clock through the night... if he hits snooze, so do I!  

Last week breastfeeding/pumping schedule (although I feed on demand so times are not exact)-
8:30 a.m.- BF
9:00 a.m.- P
11:30 a.m.-BF
1:30 p.m. -BF
4:00 p.m.- BF
4:30 p.m.- P
6:30 p.m.- BF & Supplement- 2 oz
8:00 p.m.- "top off" BF
between 12:00-1:30 a.m.- BF
4:30 a.m.- BF
6:30 a.m.- BF


This week breastfeeding/pumping schedule-
9:00 a.m.- BF (today I had to pull out a little more from fridge to satisfy him)
(No more pumping here because my supply was so low for the next feeding.)
12:00 p.m.- BF
2:00 p.m.- BF
4:30 p.m.- BF
6:30 p.m.- BF
8:00 p.m.- BF & supplement
9:00 p.m.- P
1:00 a.m.- BF
6:00 a.m.- BF

I can't figure out if this is just a another bump in the road...perhaps another growth spurt... or if we are going to have to take a whole new path.  I want our baby to be as healthy as possible and I know breastmilk helps with that, but I also want him to get a full tummy and be happy!  Don't tell me "it gets easier" lol.  It's true that some things are getting easier, but breastfeeding remains on the "always a work in progress" list!!!          

Not a SAHM

Update:  We went to a new pediatric office today.  Guess what?  They did not kick us out!  We told the nurse practitioner we think modern medicine is great (hence the IVF baby) but that we just wanted to wait a little longer and spread the vaccines out.  She listened and treated us like... the parents!  Yay!

In other news, I have three weeks left with our little man before returning to a 40+ hour work week.  I have cherished every minute of this time with our little guy.  I am going to soak in every snuggle, smile, coo, cry and poop... yes, I will miss those moments too!  Not going back to work has never been an option for me.  This maternity leave has also taught me that I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.  Hats off to those who take care of the baby AND the home... cooking, cleaning, going to the grocery store... for real?  During the two hours that our little guy takes a routine nap my time is filled with- pumping, washing pump parts, finish getting dressed, eating something, cleaning pacifiers... sometimes I skip the finish getting dressed part to write a blog post!  Then he's awake for the rest of the day with the exception of a couple of quick afternoon naps and we eat, play, change diapers and repeat.  I don't feel like I can do anymore than just survive the day and wait anxiously on PC to pull in the driveway.  Somehow I think going back to work will force me to accomplish more in less time and that I will just feel better- physically & emotionally.  However, my heart is going to be very heavy those first days back in that world.  When I think about that day approaching so quickly, I choke back tears.  Although my baby will be in good hands and will be at home for three days of the week, no one will take care of him in the same way as his mama.  I will miss him...terribly.  I will not be returning as the worker I was before.  I will not be the last one to leave.  In fact, I will be counting down to the minute that I can get out the door and home to nurse this sweet boy.

Well.  Sh*t.  Now I'm wishing I had the option to change my mind!  

Multi-Brumping

Because it is Wednesday.  Because I am lacking for adult conversation.  Because I have spent more time with my breasts the past two months than my entire life.  I have invented a new word for entertainment purposes.

Multi-Brumping

Defined:  All of those other things that moms do while breastfeeding and pumping in addition to adoring the baby.

Here's my list, starting with the more obvious:
Stare at baby
Talk to baby
Sing to baby
Cut baby's fingernails
Pull flakes out of baby's hair
Pick lint out of baby's hands (I promise I bathe my baby, but this stuff is always there!)
Tickle baby's feet
Rub baby's cheeks
Rock baby chair with my foot (pumping)
Watch t.v.
Read
Anything on the iPhone- look at pictures, look up websites, read your blogs (but haven't quite mastered the commenting yet), make a phone call, read e-mail, type notes
Eat
Drink
Pray
Think about blog friends
Think about blog posts
Think about my day
Think about things to do
Think about things not to do
Think about all things baby
Think about too many things to list
I guess this would be my most unusual (and it's pretty blah)... put on make-up

What about you? 

Humor us and add your most unusual multi-brumping skills!  In fact, I have a brand new pack of Soothies Gel pads that I would love to send to the person who does the most unusual multi-brumping.  You may need them!  :]   

My Valentines

Last year, the dining room table on Valentine's Day looked like this...

This year, the dining room table looks like this...

Doesn't everyone have the following items on their table?  An empty centerpiece, a planner, bills galore, three pocketbooks (because I can't figure out the whole diaper bag/purse combo thing), hospital papers, pump parts, pens, file folders, rubber bands, newspapers, scissors (?), receipts, and the only things that do belong there... napkins and salt/pepper. 

But this year... I have something even better than a romantic dinner at home with my love.  I have TWO loves.  And take-out on the couch will taste so much better than last year's dinner because my heart is full of love for both of my Valentines! 

And nothing is sexier than a man who does dirty diapers.  

 Happy Valentine's Day! 

Two Months

Thanks for all the support yesterday!  We will be changing pediatricians as soon as we can find the right fit!  And, a call to the LC, along with your comments, made me feel so much better about our baby's weight.  So, here is his well deserved, happy two month post!  :]

Things I want to remember:

You absolutely LOVE water. I decided to let you take a "swim" in the big tub.  You can be having the worst day and a bath just makes it all better.  A future purchase soon will be some little swimmer diapers:]

You have started to smile... a lot!  Especially in the morning when you are laying on your diaper changing table.  In fact, you are usually happy at that changing table unless you are hungry!

You are in the 75%ile for height and 10%ile for weight.  Don't worry, we are feeding you but you seem to have gotten the long, skinny genes from Uncle R and Cousin K.  Um, it did not come from mom!

A CHUBBY BABY MAC

You are starting to like toys a little more.  At first, they seemed to stress you out more than interest you.  Now you enjoy kicking and grabbing at things for 10 minute stretches.

The vibrating chair is our "go to" spot for a poopy.  It seems to help the process, lol.  Speaking of that, you are not pooping as much- maybe three times a day- when it used to be all.day.long.  Love you sweet boy, but we are happy that your digestive system is becoming more efficient!  

Your 1 1/2 hour morning nap in the swing is now routine.  and it makes you a happier boy all day.  We know this because you get your mad face on when we totally turn your schedule upside down on church or doctor days.  Mad face= you cut those pretty eyes and suck on the pacifier like nobody's business.  Laughing at this does not help improve your attitude.

Yep, have to go back and change the date... thank you, baby brain:]

People comment all the time about how alert you are, taking everything in and seemingly lost in deep thought.  I caught you staring at our wedding pic on the wall and snapped a picture.  Melts my heart.

Love you so much sweet baby boy!