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I'm almost ready for my visit to a new RE on Tuesday... filling out pages of medical history, picked up HSG x-ray etc. This clinic is connected with a University so I'll probably have several interns to observe through whatever treatment we go through, but that's okay! I will be glad to share my problems if they make it a mission to figure out the best treatment plan for me. PC will not be going on this initial visit because he's out of town with work that day and, for the first time, I asked my mom to go with me. I haven't shared every detail with her about our IF journey this far and I probably won't. We just leave it as "I have some female problems I'm trying to work out before we can think of starting a family" which really translates to "We can't have children because my ovaries are not doing what they're supposed to". Sharing this struggle with others has been difficult... the people closest to me know that I have female problems that interfere with TTC. No one except for PC can understand how it changes your life... countless appointments, financial issues, medications and injections, emotional roller coaster... to name a few things. Regardless, I'm eager to get another viewpoint! A new chapter maybe...
Recently we attended a church service where the message was "Find the Promise For Your Problem." Since then, I've been looking for and expecting this special promise to find me. Today, a very good friend sent me a letter and it contained my promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you.
Plans to give you Hope and a Future." Jer. 29:11
After the last post, I feel the need to talk about the most non-serious topic I can think of... our dog "C". I brought C home to PC about 2 1/2 years ago, or about the same time we started TTC. He has provided a much needed distraction through this TTC journey! He was an early Christmas present although I really had intentions of "just looking" when I went to see the litter of 5 girls & 4 boys. C just won me over and I couldn't leave him. He had the worst hair ever with curly ears and straight hair mixed in! He was a tiny ball of fur
for all of about five days- after that he went from a lanky and awkward stage to a 65+lb. dog with a big heart and terrible hair! The puppy stage was challenging. There was constant teaching, praising, correcting and chewing... and more chewing... from concrete to the lawn mower seat, nothing was safe in the back yard. Although PC and I are (contrary to the fact that I have a blog open to the world) are fairly shy, our dog is complete opposite. He loves to introduce himself to everyone & go for rides. He loves to fetch and swim and his most recent hobby- skunk hunting. I'm sure C will make it into many of my posts... especially the one titled "why IF patients make good pet owners"!
This was an especially long and hard week in the infertile world.
First, not ovulating can have different effects on different people. Some may not have cycles at all, some may skip cycles and then (lucky me to be in this category) some have cycles that seem to never end. So, here I am still being visited by AF on day 13, yuck.
I led a meeting with a group of colleagues on Monday and asked if anyone had anything to add to the discussion... and a pregnancy is announced. Of course, I plaster a smile on my face and chime in on the congratulations. What makes this announcement more difficult is that she was married 8 weeks after me and PC. I have moved into the stage of IF where it feels like expectant mothers (the waitress, the nurse, the cashier) are everywhere I turn. Everywhere but in the mirror. I think it's perfectly acceptable to say what I feel during these times- this stinks!
Today is a very good day for many reasons. I don't know why I do this, but every year I associate January/February with the "blahs". I'm a summer- lovin' every minute of hot weather- girl. So, these months always seem especially long and cold and dull. So here's my list for kicking this attitude out and welcoming March with open arms:
March 1- It's a beautiful sunny day!
March 9- Last day of an especially difficult graduate course.March 18- New RE for second opinion- very excited!
March 20- First day of Spring!
March 22- Having a yard sale to get rid of junk- lots of work, but worth it to de-clutter!
March 25- Haircut appt.- I think it's time for a new style.
March 26- Mac and PC anniversary:]
March 30- Leave for a much needed vacation!
Welcome March!
