Recent thoughts...

Back to blogging. My work is busier than usual through the month of May and it's pulled me away from the computer. As far as where I'm at with IF, I have a "next steps" appointment with the RE on Monday and acupuncture again on Wednesday. I'm going to tell him to repeat whatever he did the first time since I actually had a normal cycle! PC says that it's because I took a month of BCPs... but I'm a little more optimistic about Eastern medicine than he is.
Several things have been on my mind lately. First, we've had some beautiful weather and it put me in the mood to plant a little garden... by little I mean like 6-7 plants, including this one. I do not have my mother's green thumb, but I love to try! While I was working, I thought about how the whole planting process compares to IF and how frustrating it is that I can't get anything to take root! All I could think about was that line from the movie Raising Arizona where Ed found out she couldn't have children... "the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase." Is it ironic that I can quote most of this crazy movie and in the past I thought it was hilarious & now I can relate to the infertility madness!?! So, back to my mini-garden... I will enjoy watching these grow & let's hope I can publish another picture in a few weeks that doesn't look just like the one above! OK- second thought(s)... maybe this will teach me to be better about keeping up with this blog... Mother's Day Weekend. I don't know what my other IF friends are doing, but I'm running! I'll admit that I'm going through an emotional-even at times bitter- mind-set and I've asked PC if we can just run from it all and he's wonderfully understanding & supportive, as well as our moms. You do not realize until you go through IF how our culture divides moms and non-moms. Now, I see & hear it all the time &, since I'm allowed & encouraged to vent here... it s-t-i-n-k-s!!! One last thought, I promise. Is it a complete anomaly that on the day we receive our grand tax refund check I turn too soon out of the garage and now have a huge bill to fix the damage on our new Jeep?

One normal cycle...???

I don't want to jinx anything, but this is the first time in several months that my cycle (minus the ER trip) was less than 6 days! I don't know if BCP or acupuncture played a role, but this has been encouraging. Here's hoping for one normal cycle... it's a start!

Laughter is Good Medicine

So I ask PC- "Have you read my last post? Even if we go the adoption route, I think it's just natural to wonder things like that." And here's what I love about him- "Yeah, but you wouldn't see the eyes for the big bottle cap glasses the kid would have to wear. We have the worst eyesight. And think about how vertically challenged they would be." (Yeah, we're not quite the tallest couple!) Do I laugh or cry? I found it to be a very funny twist to my serious thoughts. So, I get the "Baby Herman" image in my head and that's how my day starts. I've decided- people going through IF need a good joke, good laugh, good time more than most!!! Thanks PC!

I Wonder #1...

I remember before we got married. We just knew and we spoke in future terms of "our kids" this and that. We introduced our friends and more than one has made the comment "I bet your kids are going to have big, blue eyes." So, just having one of those moments... when I wonder... what would our children look like? Would they have our blue eyes and blonde hair and fair skin? If someone asked me the hardest part of IF, I wouldn't say the shots or expense or procedures- it would have to be the "I Wonders..."

Female Fun

Today was one of those days when it's so fun to be female... woke up with severe cramping and ended up in the ER. Turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst. A shot for pain and a ultrasound to confirm everything and (of course) blood work and I'm sure a bill is probably on the way. On top of that, AF showed up yesterday with a vengeance. At least there's some humor to it. The lovely gown was not buttoned at all and Dr. H. (my Gyn) walks in as PC is trying to help me out... so I have a cute doctor on one side and a cuter husband on the other side (both know each other through riding bikes- small town) and one really awkward moment of being exposed while they try to figure out a hospital gown. Worth a laugh now! So, the BCP's have succeeded in eliminating the cyst (ouch!) and at least now I should be able to go through the next couple of cycles with a "clean slate." Fun, fun---