Bitter

Last week I went to W.al M.art to pick up some pictures at the 1 hour photo.
Synopsis: Teen 1 and young grandma waiting on pictures, infant in stroller/carrier, with Teen 2 coming up to see the baby.

Teen 1: Where's your baby?

Teen 2: She's with my mom.
Teen 1: What did you name her?
Teen 2: Skylar
Enter Teen 3, W.al M.art worker, who obviously knows Teen 1 and Teen 2--also has a baby at home-- & joins in on the conversation.
Teen 3 to Teen 2: You still with (boyfriend's name)?
Teen 2: No, I heard he's with another Amanda... he seems to like that name. (Laughter) He's got her 3 months pregnant.

Yes, I felt bitter. And a little heartbroken. No need to elaborate...

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I still haven't made a decision about the clinical study. I don't have a very good feeling or very bad feeling about it... so I've just done nothing yet.

Yesterday, I went to the OB/GYN to get bloodwork for Day 22 progesterone check. I've blogged about the past 3 cycles being normal-- yeah-- but I gave up on OP.K's a long time ago because of irregular cycles. So, if I am truly having a typical 28 day cycle this test will answer the big question... am I ovulating? I should get the results back on Monday.

The puppies are enjoying some cool new beds we ordered for them... they are the same price as big pillows that quickly become chew toys & nothing more than a big mess. These should last a lot longer. I ordered large & it's so hard to believe that they will barely fit on these in a few months!

Thanks for "listening" out there! Now on to catching up & commenting on some blogs I follow...

Clinical Study Opportunity

A fellow blogger- Thank You TID- told me about a clinical study that I might be eligible to participate in. I've been on the phone with the coordinator today and I do qualify & received a consent form this afternoon. It involves taking C.lomid & using a patch instead of injectables for a 21 day cycle. The benefits- FREE & designed just for women with an.ovulatory cycles. The negative- requires 10 office visits & this is a really hard time of year to be out of work that much, it seems like my cycles are just now regulating- would it be a mistake... trying to think it through. I've asked PC's advice but he can't think past the part that says "must have intercourse for 3x's a week for the duration of the study"... his response: where do we sign up? Here's another part of the study- I could be selected for the control group & it's a gamble that I give up this time for nothing more than sugar pills & lots of blood work. We have to decide pretty quick since the study is taking place right now. Any thoughts?

The S.ex D.iet

Check out this news clip for "in the mood food!" :]

AF- A Blessing & A Curse

AF showed today. This is both a blessing & a curse. A blessing because it came right on- dare I say it- schedule. If you knew my history, this is progress! My cycles are never predictable. In fact, I've had cycles to last as long as 45 days... yep, you read that right- and cycles that have to be induced through meds. This makes 3 in a row that have seemed- knock, knock on wood- normal! My IF diagnosis is anovulation and the biggest indicator of that is irregular cycles so... this is is a good sign, I think. And a curse- well, because it means "not this time." I'm hoping that being off De.po Pro.vera for more than 5 years, acupuncture, trying (key word) to eat healthier, controlling stress as much as possible & prayer are all working together to get my body to do what it's supposed to!

OH- & pet therapy. When I'm loving on these two, I'm not thinking about IF! Apple is going through the awkward teenage stage:] And our Newfie, we'll call him Dell in blogworld, is already three times as big as when we brought him home! Truly, he's going to be a "gentle giant!"

Just a thought or two about IF couples

PC and I often observed through RE visits that IF couples seem to have commonalities beyond the fact that we're all struggling to start a family. Through the blog experience, I believe this is even more true. Many IF couples [seem to] be committed to their work. In the RE waiting room, many have their laptops or cell phones close by or seem to be making mental to-do lists. Readers. Not just in a waiting room-- bloggers frequently refer to things they have read or recommend different books. Pet lovers. The obvious may be that we've got a lot of love to share & these are our "fur babies"--- but I think many had these pets before the IF struggle & God knew we'd need these special friends along the way. I'm describing this post to PC and he says "and we're all good looking" he..he.. but I get what I think he's saying... clean cut. Like I asked PC once at the RE... does every guy in here have on khaki pants & a white shirt? Does more work= more stress= contributes to IF in some form? ...

(Quick experiment... I went to my RE website & this is the image that says "Infertility 101") This sounds like a research proposal, but it's just a random observation/thought. Anyway- I follow some amazing couples at home & through blogger who
will be awesome parents!

P.S.
**Today is the 25th anniversary of Macintosh- and they keep getting cooler:]
**How does everyone do a strike-through on a word in a post... is it a shortcut on the keyboard or why can't I figure that out?