Day after Beta #1

I appreciate each and every sweet comment from yesterday's news!  I plan on making the blog rounds this morning and I can't wait!  It was all I could do to type the short post because it was such an emotionally draining day.  Here's what went down, although you all already know the best part!

Sorry for all the details below but I want to document the special day here. 

On Wednesday afternoon, I sent the e-mail below to Nurse LLD and this was her response.  Love her!

Hi

Will call you ASAP after getting the results.  Lets think positive!

-----Original Message-----

Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2011 3:17 PM

Subject: tomorrow

If I don't see you in the morning, I'm having blood drawn for our beta at 7:30 a.m.  Will you please give me a call as soon as you get the labs?  I'm just about on the brink of going crazy through this wait! :]  However it turns out, thanks so much for all of your help the past several weeks. 

We left around 5:45 a.m. and I had my blood drawn by 7:35.  The lady that draws my blood asked if I did an HPT and I told her I just couldn't do it.  She said she thought that was good to wait but I was only the second one she had tested all week who didn't POAS.  I started questioning my decision, but it was too late at that point.  The "call" was going to be my answer.

We stopped by Chic-fil-a, which has become our "tradition" on early RE days and then I ran in Target to get some more vitamin water (yum, by the way!).  We were home by 10:30 a.m., PC left for work (I've had a few days off this week for spring break, woo hoo), and I fell asleep in the recliner until he came back by the house around 12:00.  Still no call.  I ate lunch,  started googling everything related to 12dp3dt and the phone rang a little after 1:00.  My heart was about to come out of my chest to see "Nurse LLD" on the screen even though it's the call I had been waiting on all day.

Me:  Hello
Nurse LLD:  Hi... M?
Me:  How are you?
Nurse LLD:  Good, and you?
Me:  Just waiting on your call.
Nurse LLD:  Well, are you ready for some good news?
Me:  (Getting so excited) I would love some good news!
Nurse LLD:  Well, you are pregnant.
Me:  Yay, Yay, Yay... I can't believe it!  What was my beta?
Nurse LLD:  It was 249.
Me:  That's a good number, right?
Nurse LLD:  Yes, that's good.
(We work out the details for coming back on Saturday for Beta #2)
Me:  Thank you so much!
Nurse LLD:  Congratulations!

I'm one of those people who saves all of my emotions somewhere inside and puts on a strong face until it gets to the point where those emotions just can't be contained... when I hung up the phone, I started crying almost 6 years worth of built up emotions!

So, I called PC but it was really hard to get the words out with the monsoon of tears and it sounded something like this:
Me:  H-e-y, I--I    j--j--u--s--t    g-g-o-t    t--h--e    c--c--a--l--l. 
PC:  It was negative.  It didn't work. 
Me:  No, I'm sorry, I can't stop crying.  It was good news.  We're pregnant.
PC:  (Silence)  Really? 
Me:  Oh, hold on Nurse LLD is calling me back. (Poor PC)

I thought, omg, she gave me the wrong information!  That's how guarded I am... but she forgot to remind me to continue the estrogen patches and PIO.... whew.

I go back to PC and tell him everything is good and hurry home!  Then, you can guess what I did next!  I P'dOAS and was still nervous that it wouldn't confirm what I had just been told.  It was a CVS brand test that clicked into place with a little window that, within a few minutes, said "Pregnant."  First ever BFP on an HPT!  I think I'm going to have to go buy more today and POAS all weekend!  :]

I somehow whipped out the blog post, took a shower, got the tears under control enough to go get my estrogen patches refilled and came back home minutes before PC.  We hugged and I asked if he was excited and he said he was dizzy:]  Well, I was hungry!  We went out to eat and we got to have conversations that we've never had... it was is a strange feeling!  Things like "I think this is my child with all the sour & salty I've been wanting to eat but I think this is your child because I sure am gassy all of a sudden."  And, after he told me it was too much trouble to bring a mattress into the living room, I said "I think the rules are you are supposed to be nicer to me than you have ever been right now!"  (I didn't say they were sweet conversations!) 

You all are the only ones who know our special news.  We told a few IRL people that we got a good report and things are going well.  Unless one of them has come across this blog, they really do not know how good the report was.  Believe me, if we get another good number on Saturday and we get a good report at the first ultrasound, it won't be long until we're shouting it to the world.  (But not on FB or "in your face" kind of way... IF has given me much time to think about what I would and would not do.)  The fact that it took modern medicine + prayers to get us here will never be a secret.  I have too many sisters here and IRL who need to hear that miracles can happen.  I realize that I'm not holding a baby in my arms right now and that would be the ultimate miracle, but a BFP after 5 years and 9 months of TTC, it feels pretty darn close to a miracle to me.    

I always talk about the hurdles and I realize there are some more big ones to get through in the coming weeks, but I want to enjoy living in the moment right now.  Thanks for allowing me to share it. 

Thankful Thursday

BETA:  249

  

Thank you God.  Thank you modern medicine.  Thank you God+modern medicine.  Thank you PC.  Thank you blog family.

The tears won't stop flowing... and I'm okay with that.    

I'm pregnant and I am beyond elated. 

LOL, 10dp3dt

Yep, you know the 2WW is getting to you when you get the following comment box and you LOL because it reminds you of yet another side effect of progesterone. 

I am 10dp3dt but I just cannot POAS.  I've spent 5 1/2 years of time and tears on HPT's that shouted "negative" at me and I only want to POAS when I know two lines will be shouting "positive" back at me!  

This will more than likely be my last post before the beta on Thursday.  I hope to join the other cycle sisters who have gotten BFP's recently!  I don't have to say "wish me luck" here because you all have been doing that since cycle day 1.  Instead I will say a heartfelt "thank you" from me and PC for all of the support in getting to this point.   

7dp3dt

It's been one week today since the three day embryo transfer.  Half-way through the 2WW, woo-hoo!  I haven't had anymore cramping/twinges for the past couple of days.  I just feel "normal" and I wish I felt "pregnant" but I don't know what that feels like!  You know those stories you read about women who just knew?  I'm not one of them:[  Good news from my P4 bloodwork, it was 20+ (nurse didn't know the exact number) so I don't have to add any more to the PIO shot.

I'm trying to line up some distractions... Today, we caught an early movie (The Lincoln Lawyer) and we'll go back out for dinner in a little while.  Tomorrow, we're supposed to go to church shoe-less (should be interesting) and then I want to plant a few strawberry and tomato plants later in the day.  I don't think all the distractions in the world will keep me from not thinking about the Thursday phone call after our trip to the RE!

Something happened at our dinner with BIL/SIL that caught me off guard.  They are part of our small, IRL support group who know a good bit about what we're going through although no one can really understand what's involved unless they've actually been through it.  Anyway, I showed them the pic of our embryos and BIL was like "those are in you?  Two?  Twins?  Yay!  Yes... it was always my dream to have twins, that is great!"  All of this happened before I could tell them there are several more hurdles to get through.  When I was able to tell him what still has to happen, his demeanor totally changed and he just looked worried for us.  This is why there's no way we could let so many people in on this.  His first reaction was precious.... but it was way too premature.  I "burst his bubble" in a matter of minutes and can't imagine having to go through that over and over.  I hope this doesn't come across like I've written this IVF cycle off but after being on this long road for nearly six years, a positive beta is a hurdle, a beta that doubles is another hurdle, an ultrasound where everything looks good is a big hurdle, a pregnancy and birth of a healthy baby, that's what it would truly take for me to let go of all doubt.  Just being honest. 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

 

5dp3dt

Exactly one week from today until BETA!!!

5dp3dt...

Recently, a blogger was talking about having no symptoms in the 2WW and being worried and I'm having all kinds of cramps/twinges and I'm worried!  I've had period-like cramps that come and go on both sides.  Some are short twinges and a few are worse than I have with AF.  It is so hard to not know what's taking place in my uterus!   

I called Nurse LLD about the bathroom troubles and she said it would be fine to take anything to help... Milk of Magnesium, Colace, Prunes... take my pick!  Joy.

I ran out of needles for the PIO shot and had some called in to our pharmacy.  They were out of the 1 1/2 inch but the pharmacist said I could get by with 1 inch so I get 1/2" less needle in my backside now, small victory:]  PC is still doing a good job with the injection but it freaks him out every time.  He has sympathy pains, which I must admit is pretty sweet.

MIL cooked dinner for us last night (crumble chicken) and SIL is cooking for us tonight (spaghetti).  I have the best in-laws, I'm so thankful.  Hoping they get to be grandparents and an aunt and uncle soon... if I'm getting the royal treatment for trying to get pregnant, I envision much more crumble chicken and spaghetti in the future if I am pregnant!  Do you hear that embryos? 

Yesterday I could not get enough salty (like olives) or sour (like lemon drops).  Not saying that these are cravings, just can't figure out where I'm making diet mistakes so that my body needs sodium and I have no idea about the lemon drops!?!  Let's just blame anything and everything on progesterone at this point! 

This morning, I traveled back to the RE for a progesterone check.  Waiting on them to call me back, but hoping that it's on track so that I don't have to add more PIO!