Viability & Vocation!

Long lost blogger here to say "24 weeks today BABY!"  I don't have to share the significance of that here... a milestone that we've been waiting on!  It feels like, from this point on, I can count each week as another big step forward in getting closer to our little miracle baby.

Maybe we should really start figuring out a name for this little guy!

No time like the present to tell you all why I've been an absent blogger since mid-July and the "name game" is so difficult.  I've never really said exactly what my job is here because the purpose of this blog has been so entirely separate from what goes on in my professional life.  I also never wanted to risk someone IRL coming across this blog and misinterpreting anything.  However, I rarely mention my work here and have no intentions of using this blog for discussing anything that happens at work so I'm not worrying about it anymore!  What a blog "mouthful" to say that I'm in the field of education.  I've been absent in blog world to get everything prepared for a new school year and then they all showed up!  Whew!  My job was tiring without being pregnant!  That's another reason it's so hard to narrow down the list of names!  Every name makes me think "that name belongs to that child" even though I know our child can share a name.  (Well, minus those of repeat offenders, lol!)  I've had a few little kids point and ask "is that a baby in there?"  I just smile and say "yes it is" and go on with business as usual.

Infertility is hard for everyone but for those of us in education, it is especially difficult to give so much of your life to taking care of other people's children every day... and wanting so badly to share some of those experiences as a parent.  It was all I could do to hold back the tears at the end of the school year when I was still keeping it a secret that I was pregnant and our Pre-K students sang about saying goodbye to their friends and being ready for Kindergarten.  I can't wait for those special moments... with camera and kleenex in hand of course:]   

Doggie(s)

I'm so behind in the blogosphere I don't know when or if I'll ever catch up!  I went back to work last Monday and the month of August continues to be a blur right now!  I did find time this weekend to have a photo shoot with our furbabies in order to put their pictures up in the nursery.  Will it be okay if our baby's first word is doggie?  :] 

From one IF to another

The following is a recent email conversation with another IF sister that I know IRL.  She went through IVF a few years ago and it didn't work.  My heart hurt to type the words "I'm expecting" and hurt when I got the response because I want this so badly for her too.  I'm posting the conversation here because our words to each other would be so foreign to those who never had trouble conceiving.  But it's as if we spoke back and forth in true IF language and I will always remember what it was like to get to this point and that I have friends through the blog world and IRL who are still fighting and how much I want you/them to WIN. 

Me:  Hi B!  I wasn't sure if you had heard the news that I'm expecting. I wanted to tell you that we went through IVF this past spring... I only had 5 eggs... 4 fertilized... 2 normally (none to freeze) and one stuck!  It's hard to send this to someone who I want the same outcome for so badly on this journey that we didn't ask for.  I know you will still be happy for me... not holding a baby yet, but closer than ever to beating infertility. 

M!  No, I hadn't heard!  I must say, I'm glad to hear it from YOU!  I know it's hard to share with someone who deals with infertility but I'm so glad you did and of course I'm happy for you!  I'm glad you only had to go through IVF once.  It's not the most enjoyable experience is it?  We still have 5 frozen embryos...as I was so friendly reminded when the "storage" bill arrived recently.  Not sure when we'll go through the process to use them...time is running out (turned 38 this summer....ugh.)  In the meantime, we've recently begun paperwork to adopt from China.  The wait is really long, but our hearts our led to see it through.  Back to your good news....please take care of yourself, enjoy, breathe deeply, and take in every precious moment.  You deserve it and are going to be such a great mom!!!

Me:  Thank you!  I couldn't have gone through IVF more than once financially, physically or emotionally so I'm certainly counting my blessings.  I missed so much work and my backside is still sore from the progesterone shots that ended 8 weeks ago!  People think that IVF always works the first time and results in boy/girl twins, so far from the truth!  We just got a bill yesterday for the back-up (required) sample of frozen sperm... people just DON'T know!  It's not that I want anyone to experience it, but some level of understanding and sensitivity from the fertile myrtles would be nice.  I'm excited to hear about the adoption process and I will pray that it happens sooner than later for you!  Just know that you have a supporter here and I will be celebrating when I get the same update from you!!! 

Eek...haven't had those progesterone shots in a while, but I can feel your pain...literally!  And I think it hurts our husbands as much as it hurts us!  You are so right that people just don't know.  One year when we had several pregnancies here, someone said to me, "you should drink from the water fountains."  REALLY?  I can't even respond when people say stuff like that because I'm so dumbfounded and speechless.  I could go on and on about comments from the fertile myrtles, but I won't.  I'm sure you've heard it all, too!

Life is Good

This week, PC and I painted (windows open and fan on) and put up some crown molding in the evolving baby nursery.  We had family over all weekend to celebrate PC's birthday and my sweet cousin stayed with us to paint something special on one wall of the nursery.  We LOVE it.  The theme for the nursery, as well as our lives, is Jeeps, Dogs and Books:] 

Have I said that this still feels like I'm living in a dream?  Have I said thank you God that we are preparing a room for a little miracle baby boy?  Have I said... Life is Good.  Dog Gone. 

Happy Birthday PC!

In one year, some things don't change.

 

You still find time to do things with your nieces that make them laugh and adore you even more.

Then, some things do change.

As you get ready to paint and prepare a room for your son.

The journey gets more interesting and there's no one else I'd rather share it with.  You are a wonderful husband and this little boy will be very lucky to have you as a father.  I love you, PC!  Happy Birthday!!!