No Baby Blues

Why does it seem that I sail through some weeks without letting infertility consume my thoughts and then some weeks it constantly hits me right in the face? I'll call it a "no baby- blues" week. I smiled through a baby shower. Everywhere I turned someone was very pregnant or talking about a pregnancy. Everything on television... books...radio... you know what I mean. However, PC & I finally decided on a timeline & a plan, which gives me a new sense of hope & determination. For one year, we're putting back enough $$ to cover almost all of an IVF procedure. In one sense, that seems like such a long time away and then, in another, the past 3 years have flown by so what will one more hurt? PC irritated me a little when he said "so you'll do all the doctor says to do months before IVF?" Um, easier said than done. In this journey, I have tried a lot of things... different foods, herbs, ov tests... etc. and, no, I don't always stick with every thing just like PC still enjoys biking & hot tubs... two things on the "no" list when TTC. I've come to this realization- eat as healthy as possible, keep doing acupuncture (it makes me feel better), recognize & reduce stress as much as possible, take a daily vitamin, laugh, blog... those things I can do consistently. And those things, with faith & prayer, will do more for preparing my mind & body than anything from a book or doctor! In the mean time, TTC natural won't hurt anything:]

A long week!

It was one of those weeks. The kind where it was raining one day before work & I lost my balance on a curb- shoe came off- resulting in wet sock- type of week. I'm ready for the upcoming holidays and a change of pace, even if it's still a busy pace. I have no idea when AF will show up next (day 35) in this long cycle. I have ac.upuncture this week. Otherwise, I just continue to avoid this or that, try to make sense of these cycle patterns and think about possible timelines for IVF in the next year.
One thing that has been totally distracting in a relaxing kind of way has been reading the St.ephanie Me.yer's series. Someone recommended them and described it as a story about a girl falling in love with a (good) vampire. I thought- nope, not my kind of reading material. But I thought reading the first one couldn't hurt... and since... I've read all four & didn't want them to end. I've already made PC save the date for the upcoming movie. I tried to convince him to read one of the books, but he says the movie will be good enough:|
We also have the possibility of a new puppy to look forward to in the coming weeks... there's one litter that's 3 weeks old & we're supposed to look at them soon. That would also be a total distraction!

Husband Vent #1

I love PC. I really do. Have I mentioned that PC also stands for Prince Charming? But can I please be entitled to pick one-- just one-- teeny little marriage thing that has been hard to adjust to? There really is a male obsession with the remote control! I found this out quickly after saying "I Do." It's not like I want to watch a soap opera or Hall.mark movie every night... just want to find a compromise so that what little down time we do have is not filled with the truth about ufo's, hauntings, Big.foot... I'm not interested. And... Who is the person making the decision to play L.ethal W.eapon every night of the week? History channel- it's okay in small doses. I will say that I have come to like the D.irty J.obs guy &--I'm really mad about how this one has grown on me-- I S.houldn't Be A.live- who can't stay glued to these shows to find out how they really survive!? SO last week, the volume button stopped working. This led to an urgent trip to buy an all-in-one. PC wanted a $70 remote control. That will buy like 1 vial of Foll.istim. I had to object. Uh-oh, so PC started reading over my shoulder and placed the "Great All in One" in my lap in a not-so-gentle way and mumbled/muttered something about going outside. And that is why I am about to find out who is still in the D.ancing with the S.tars competition:]

Blog Makeover

I've been trying to figure out how to change my blog template this week. I like the new look, but it's changed some things that I can't figure out how to fix... yet. Blogging has been, in some ways, a kind of therapy. I think having a blog to vent, connect with others, and just be "me" has helped (PC agrees) my frustration level. BTW, this is #50! I've learned a lot from reading about other couple's experiences and treatments. Oh, this morning there was a very faint line on the ovulation test. It doesn't mean anything significant (or low levels of hormone?) since the line has to be equal or darker in color to the test line, but it is nice to see something. Of course I'd really love to see two pink lines:]

Cycle Update

Day 18 & so far all ovulation tests have yelled "NO!" :[ Still have ac.upuncture treatments every 6 weeks. They seem to be helping my overall health but I would really like to have consistent "normal" cycles. The last appointment Dr. C. suggested that I avoid chicken for awhile to see if that may have any effect on my estrogen levels. Don't know that I really think it could have that much of an impact... but I'm willing to try! November marks 3 years and 3 months of TTC. Long enough!