Let's make this a Fertile Friday!

Nurse LLD e-mailed this morning to say "stims are a GO."  So, I ran home and (45 minutes later) had my first stim injection done (hence the post title) and yeah, BABY:]  One down and 19 more to go!  It was my first time mixing 4 vials so I didn't quite get the syringe filled up to the right mark.  I told Nurse LLD and, in her true -tell it like it is fashion- she said "Well, get it right the next time!"  I'm trying!  It did sting but I was pinching myself so hard that I think it was pain from multiple sources.  However, the 30g needle wasn't too bad even though I wouldn't call any needles "good."  In honor of day 1 of stims, I'm going to buy this bag... because I have a bag obsession and because I'm going through IVF, do I need another reason?  If this does work, it will turn into my hospital bag.  If this doesn't work, it will turn into my get away bag! 

P.S.  I think day 5 and day 10 of stims is also reason enough for a gift to self, although we're still on the debt diet so it may have to be something small to go IN the bag.  No problem.   

**Hope to catch up with everyone in blog world this weekend... I've been reading but not commenting as much as I would like.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!**     

PIO- Needles?

Has anyone seen this youtube clip where this girl uses a 25g needle instead of a 22g to do her PIO shot?   She has me convinced that it's fine to use a smaller needle!  It's sad that I'm worried about those shots and I haven't started stims yet!  

Anyone who had the Bravelle/Menopur protocol, what size needle(s) did you use for the injection?  Did you always use your abdomen for an injection site?  Did ice help with any stinging?  Anything else I should know?     

Sorry that this is TMI but Lupron is really interfering with regular-ness in the bathroom.  It's just not happening!  I guess I should be thankful that I'm not having headaches or hot flashes, right?!?  Arrgghhh!
  

A Baby for Charlie *Dog Lovers*

There are 3 fur babies in Mac and PC World.  We love them all but this post is devoted to our big boy, Charlie the Newfoundland.  When we brought him home, he looked like this:

He is a bear cub turned 155 lb.+ BEAR!  You should see the looks and questions we get when we take him for rides or camping!  Charlie has a lot of special characteristics but I'd like to share two with you.  

#1- He adores children.  Newfoundlands are known for being exceptionally good with children to the point that they earned the nickname "the nanny dog."  In fact, "Nana" the dog guardian in Peter Pan was a Newfoundland.  You should see Charlie whenever my nieces or any other children visit him.  He is perfectly obedient and they instantly become his "masters."  It is so sweet.  So, among my desire to be a mother and for PC to be a dad... I want to have a baby for Charlie to have a best friend!

#2 The howl.  If Charlie hears a siren, he starts this strong howl that turns into a broken question mark towards the end.  It is SO funny.  He can wake me and PC up in the middle of the night with this howl and, it never fails, we burst out laughing.  Finally PC caught it on his phone so I'm sharing with you all, THE HOWL.  (Warning:  If you have a fur baby, chances are they will bark at hearing this!)  I hope it brings you a smile because, in this world of infertility, I can always count on Charlie for lots of smiles... sometimes he is my stress relief! 

 

Disclaimer:  Although he is near perfect in our eyes, he is also HIGH maintenance... shedding, drooling are just a couple of his other unique characteristics so we wouldn't recommend a Newfie for everyone! 

IVFmeds... make me proud!

Thanks for the comments and for listening yesterday on a 'down' day.  I hate this for all of us!!!

I called the RE's office today to see if results from the biopsy were back (ruling out inflammation) but it could still be a couple of days.  I have a small cyst but my estradiol is low so that's okay.  The conversation was rather irritating.  I ordered my meds (most of them) from ivfmeds.  I love the good 'ol USA, I really do but I also did some research, read reviews and didn't see anything wrong with these meds except for the inconvenience of the glass vials as mentioned in an earlier post and they do not send syringes/needles.  The actual meds are held to the same high standards and they were significantly cheaper.  In fact, Bravelle and Menopur are not even made in the US!  I don't really understand how it all works as far as costs but PC says the prices are jacked up in the US because drug companies are losing money in countries with price controls and a bunch of other stuff where (sorry PC) I started tuning out.  However, when I was asking the RE's office about filtering needles for the glass vials, these people act like I'm about to take some contaminated, toxic substance!  They act like I'm doomed before the first injection and need to be scolded!  Does this supply look much different than yours?  Geez, I needed to save any money possible and it would be nice if they could cut me some slack!      

and then there was one :[

Today at our place of worship, the pastor was speaking about faith and believing God to make the impossible--- possible.  He mentioned three couples struggling with trying to have children that were covered in prayer a few months ago and that prayer had been answered for two of the three couples.  Then his eyes scanned the room until he met ours and he said "I still believe it's going to happen for the other couple." 

Can you combine a whole lot of feelings into a single moment?  Because at that moment I felt sad, angry, overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated, confused and hurt.  It took all my strength to get out of there without tears.  All of the plans I had for the day just seemed to vanish and all I want to do is lay here and feel sorry for myself, feel like such a failure.  Now I feel bad that I've dragged blog friends into this pity party as well.  But it's real and this is an outlet for how I truly feel.   

My heart is so, so heavy today.

God, I know you're listening and you already know the emotions I felt today.  

Please don't forget about us.  Please answer our prayers too.