Sunday, March 6, 2011

and then there was one :[

Today at our place of worship, the pastor was speaking about faith and believing God to make the impossible--- possible.  He mentioned three couples struggling with trying to have children that were covered in prayer a few months ago and that prayer had been answered for two of the three couples.  Then his eyes scanned the room until he met ours and he said "I still believe it's going to happen for the other couple." 

Can you combine a whole lot of feelings into a single moment?  Because at that moment I felt sad, angry, overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated, confused and hurt.  It took all my strength to get out of there without tears.  All of the plans I had for the day just seemed to vanish and all I want to do is lay here and feel sorry for myself, feel like such a failure.  Now I feel bad that I've dragged blog friends into this pity party as well.  But it's real and this is an outlet for how I truly feel.   
My heart is so, so heavy today.

God, I know you're listening and you already know the emotions I felt today.  
Please don't forget about us.  Please answer our prayers too.       

10 bytes:

Bridget said...

He won't forget about you. I'm sorry you are having a rough day.

Chrissy said...

Oh hun that must have been so hard. (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

To feel that many emotions at once is totally normal. I can imagine what that must have felt like. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

I would have burst into tears for sure! I know he has heard our prayers and although they haven't been answered, they will...one way or another :)

Baby Hopes said...

I'm so sorry. This breaks my heart for you. I'm encouraged that you still find the strength to go and worship. Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. I do pray that this is your month, and that your little one(s) is(are) soon on the way.

China Doll said...

Oh, how horrible! That must have been so difficult - I'm so impressed that you made it out of there without crying.
Thinking of you... your time will come xx

clewis said...

I think that was nice that the priest will continue to pray for you. All we can do is hope that he is listening

Anonymous said...

It is rough when you feel like the couple that got left behind... I have felt like you so many times, but I just want to say, God loves you and He wants you to have children. He has not forgotten about you! And on days like these, His heart aches even more than yours does because He does not want this for you!

manymanymoons said...

Thank you so much for the comment on my blog. It totally made my day.

I'm so sorry you had to go though that...you must have been blindsided. I'm sure you were counting the minutes until you could made your great escape. Hang in there.

Jos said...

*sigh* Those days are so hard. Hang in there honey.