Newborn Stuff

Recently, I've commented on a couple of moms-to-be posts about things I would recommend for their registry.  I've decided to create a list here so that I can reference the link to respond to future posts for moms-to-be who ask for the advice.  If there is something any of you have that you can't live without, please leave it in the comments and we'll share from our experiences!

However, first I should say that every baby is different so what works for us and what our baby likes may not work for another sweet little personality-of-their-own bundle of joy:] 

If I had it to do over again, I would have included more of the practical items on the registry, like:
Diapers (all sizes, we prefer Huggies)
Wipes
Vaseline
Whatever you choose for rash treatment (we love some stuff called calazime that we get at a pharmacy- explosive poops and still have not had any diaper rash!!!  Knock on wood.)
Bath wash & lotions
Germ-x pumps for the changing table
Burp cloths or cheap packs of receiving blankets or cloth diapers (these can handle all kinds of baby  messes and if you get enough of them, you will not have a hard time throwing away one that gets covered in poo... or two... or three)
Storage containers- I didn't put anything like this on the registry but now I'm buying them to store diapers, newborn clothes we want to keep, etc.
Board books (actually, these are good to find and just wipe down from consignment sales or passed along from friends)
Baby clothes hangers
Changing table covers, pack-n-play sheets and crib sheets (seems like they are in the wash non-stop)
Baby detergent

I wouldn't put any kind of clothes, onesies, stuffed animals or blankets on the list... these seem to be the things that everyone wanted to buy.  We got four piggy banks!  

Big items we love:
AngelCare Monitor
Swing (one of the best yardsale purchases yet... although the kind that plug in seem pretty nice as we've had to change the batteries already)
Vibrating/bouncy chair
Fisher Price Rock & Play Sleeper
Pack-n-Play
Chicco Keyfit 30 travel system
Chicco caddy  (This has been money well spent!  It weighs 11 lbs and our car seat clicks into it.  I can handle it by myself and there is storage room underneath for shopping or it also works well in restaurants so we're not constantly worried about putting him on top of the -dirty- upside down high chair!)

The Caddy- also comes in handy for riding around the house when you're not sure what else to do!

 There are a lot of things he has to get a little bigger for and I can't comment on (like a jumperoo or bumbo seat or toys) but some things that have been useful:
Hamper
Clock (helpful when pumping if my phone is not nearby)
Lamp
Night Light!!!
Glider rocker and some type of pillow for support if breastfeeding!!!
Towels & wash cloths
Some kind of mirror... our little guy loves to look in a mirror while he's being changed!
Some kind of musical aquarium or crib attachment
Bathtub with the mesh part on top
Diaper Genie & refills (PC's favorite because it's crazy how the poopy diaper smell disappears once you push it through the top!)
A keepsake or safe deposit box for all of those little "treasures" from the first year

"Little things" that I've found we've needed two or more for home, car and/or diaper bag:
Thermometer (hate the digital, it always tells us he has a fever... we like the regular underarm thermometer)
Nose syringe (the one from the hospital was great and it busted...have yet to find another good one for our very stuffy nose boy)
Nail clippers
Shades for the car
Backseat mirrors for the car
Mat for diaper changing (although most diaper bags come with one)
More Germ-x
And, as one of my girlfriends calls it... a Hooter Hider :]


It's hard to say about pacifiers, bottles and such... our baby has a preference for the round soothie pacifiers so I've given the others away.  Any bottles so far have been small disposable bottles.  We do use the drying rack frequently for pump parts and the disposable bottles.  

Things that our little guy just doesn't like (yet?)
Tummy time mat
Boppy pillow (which a lot of moms say is a must)
Play mat

Breastfeeding items would be a whole other post that I'm unable to do because we're still figuring that out day by day! 

Crazy the amount of STUFF that comes with a baby.  I'm trying to picture the car on our first vacation!  Really, all they need is food, diapers & love right? 

 

TVT

• Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus Baby Brain!  Forget knowing the date, what day of the week is it?  Does it go in the fridge or in the pantry?  Is it too, two or to?  Me:  "What's that thing in there that washes the dishes?"  PC:  "Ummm.... the dishwasher?"  Me:  "Oh, yeah."  If I could remember other crazy things I would post them here, but I can't remember anything!
• Grateful for a wonderful MIL and FIL.  But... a little aggravated with FIL that blue slippers with puppy dogs on them to keep my child's feet warm look "girly." 
• How in the world does something so small produce toots and and poops so HUGE?  
• What do we call "it" with a little boy?  I say we call it his pee pee and PC says that's too dainty.  He suggests it's the peter.  But what if that's a little boy's name in his class one day?  Decisions, decisions. 
• The sixth bed has arrived at our home this week.  

Why did I not know about this life saver?  Some swaddling & the dustbuster & the paci and we are getting half of the night without baby in the middle of us and half the night with baby---- ahhhhh, best of both worlds!!!  Well, the sleep is a little better after the dustbuster battery runs low!

• Got my hair highlighted this morning.  That hair made it through month nine, labor, birth, NICU and the first six weeks with a newborn.  Believe me it was time!  Pumped three days to get out for those two hours.  Do you think I processed in a chair reading a good trashy magazine?  Nope, I went to hang out in a quiet bathroom lol. 

NICU- Part 2/Final Thoughts

Our baby was in the NICU before his second day in the world.  That was when I wrote this post and asked for prayers... and they worked!

I had no idea what NICU really meant before we had a baby.  Babies were getting special care...that was my only reference.   Now I wish it had been discussed when we toured labor & delivery or that the ob/gyn would have talked to us a little more about it.  I guess they don't want to cause any undue stress.  If any mom-to-be is reading this, please read through as someone who is sharing what I wish had been shared with me.  It is not my intention to scare anyone but to inform and provide support.

Babies are in NICU for so many different reasons... ours because his spit up concerned the L&D nurse and they did some blood work and it showed signs of an infection.  If your baby has to go to NICU, possibly... you will see him or her hooked up to a machine and an IV on his/her arm or head (we started with an IV in the arm, but it leaked after a couple of days and the next one was put in his head... although it broke my heart, our baby was so much happier with the IV in his head and his arm free...the nurse explained how those veins are actually better for babies).  You probably won't get to be with your baby 24/7 as you will be receiving care from having a baby and (in our hospital) two hours were reserved for shift change and no visitors.  You will cry.  You will work so hard to get to your baby and brushing your teeth becomes a big accomplishment.  You will have many questions... can I hold him/her, feed him/her, what happens next, etc.  You will dream of being at home with your little one.

I went from extreme elation to extreme deflation in a matter of hours.  I was scared, worried and broken-hearted for what my son was going through. It's hard for any parent, but for an IF mama with an IVF baby, I don't have to tell you how my heart ached to take a baby home.  I had a lot to learn.  Now... here's the part why I hope you are still reading...

You will make it.  Your baby will be in the care of some of the most phenomenal people you have ever met, they are called NICU nurses, or angels would fit as well.  They will answer your questions.   They will encourage you and let you hold your baby (and feed if possible).  They will offer kleenex and an understanding look when you cry.  They remind you to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby.  They will color pictures for him and make sure that his every need is met.

 
We were lucky and I learned to be grateful.  Our son was home after 5 days... I met a mom in the elevator who was going on week 13.  I asked, How are you doing it?  And her response was something similar to- How do you not?  Those parents live. survive. and God- willing take home a healthy baby, which is the number one goal of NICU!

There was a NICU favorite baby while we were there, Baby J, who (by overhearing a caseworker talking to a nurse) I learned that rarely got visits from his mom and had been there four MONTHS.  I wanted to take him home with us too.  

On Tuesday night, PC and I had a "date" in the hospital cafeteria during no visitor time.  PC was talking about how you loved someone so much that you had only known a short amount of time and (this might only make sense to Twi.light fans) I said "Awwww, we've imprinted!"  PC (totally out of character) said "I should smack you right now for comparing our baby to some hormone-filled vampire/werewolf character!"  And that was the first laugh in 48 hours.  It helped.  A lot.   

Our H was a true little fighter.  By Wednesday, all levels were back to normal range and we were ready to "room in" with him.  They have a special room for families who are taking home their baby the next day.  It looked like a penthouse suite to us... it looked better than that!

I hope that you do not have a NICU experience but, if you do, know that those are special people who share your goal of taking a healthy baby HOME.  You're already a fighter through the IF journey and you will be a fighter for your baby too! 

5 beds, one baby

You have all these visions and plans in your head about how things are going to work out when baby is home.  Never say never!  Hence, the sleeping situation!  
Plan... he is going to sleep in the pack and play (bed #1) every night with the monitor on and all blankets off.  Good plan, but he doesn't sleep that way.  So he ends up in your arms and you both sleep hours at a time, warm and snugly, on and off the boob buffet as baby so desires.  After a few days weeks everything in your head says this isn't a good habit and not to mention how unsafe it is according to the experts and research.  Obviously, grandma doesn't like it either so she buys a little cosleeper basket (#2) that goes in the bed.  But baby doesn't sleep and DH and I lose much more sleep trying to fit in the few inches of bed that's left.  So he ends up in your arms and you both sleep hours at a time, warm and snugly, on and off the boob buffet as baby so desires.  Grandma researches and reads about a cosleeper that attaches to the bed (#3) and she wants to buy it.  Agree to try.  DH puts it together and it's no different than the pack and play except that one side rolls down... but it does not extend the bed like we thought.  So DH takes it apart and puts it back in the box (with one or two obscenities along the way).  The original bassinet (#4) in our room that we borrowed from SIL?  A make-shift changing area.  If this baby can't at least see you through mesh, there is no sleeping.  The crib (#5)?  That's a whole other transition to the other side of the house that I am not ready for.  He does like to lay in it, but only wide awake.  
So, the latest plan is to move the pack and play into our bedroom and try to get baby to make it to the first feeding before ending up beside me.  Do I get credit for at least having a plan?  Why do I feel so bad and guilty for a decision that brings hours of sleep and makes me and baby both happy?  Because I also think about the "what if" dangers and the habit that's already looking hard to break and that PC and I need to snuggle too... we have got to start reconnecting (another post for another day).  But I also am not in favor of a whole night of "crying it out" or losing so much sleep that I have nothing left to be able to give him the best care possible the next day. 

Update:  I started this post yesterday.  Baby made it through about one hour in the pack and play.  He was fussy and we kept putting the pacifier back in until the full cry came.  PC says at least it's a start... tonight we'll try for an hour and a half... baby steps:]  Any words of wisdom appreciated unless you are going to side with grandma.  Just kidding.  We are trying to transition but, again, I've learned sometimes you will do what you have to do... so sad to be moving him (okay, and me too) from our happy place! 

Pack and play, great at Christmas for staring at the tree!

In-bed cosleeper and bassinet on other side.  Picture fools you- this is a 5 minute nap!

PC putting the other cosleeper back in the box, as good as a sport about it as he could be!

Crib, great for watching the aquarium!

Mom, snoozing away! 

Crayons on the wall... already?

Not quite.  But we do have a big mess on our hands, literally! 

If you haven't had to deal with the lovely thrush, consider yourself very lucky!  If you have, you probably know about genetian violet.  It's purple topical stuff that I put on my boobs and it ends up in my baby's mouth... but it is said to be one of the most effective treatments of thrush.  We want to get rid of this nasty thrush because there is no freezing or storing breastmilk while it's active and because it causes white spots in my baby's mouth.
Anywho...
this morning PC took the baby for the  6 a.m. diaper change and he started yelling.  I jumped up and yelled "is the baby okay?"  He said "yes, but help!"  Someone (me)- who has a big case of baby brain (if it's any kind of excuse) left the lid open on the genetian violet and then someone else (PC- who really can't be blamed but is just a little bit guilty by association) accidently knocked it over.  A full bottle.  Of stuff that comes with Internet warnings like this: 
"Gentian violet is a powerful staining agent. Stains can be removed, but it's important to act quickly. The longer that nasty stuff sets, the harder it will be to remove."
Understatement.  PC worked quickly to save the hardwood while I made a sad attempt to wipe the cabinets, while listening to a screaming baby with a dirty diaper.  Finally I said "I've got to take care of the baby" and the rest was left to PC.  Good news?  He saved the hardwood!  Bad news?  He's out buying paint right now for the built-ins.  We tried rubbing alcohol and the other Internet suggestion was Vodka, but we've been fresh out of that for nine months now!  
One day it will be funny.  But not today.  Today, we are sick of PURPLE!     
Here...

and here...

and here...

 And I would post a picture of PC's purple feet but he is presently out buying paint.  He took the cabinet door to the store to match up the paint and I'm wondering if he's having to explain to the sales guy that it is a purple stain that his wife uses to paint her nipples.

Okay, maybe we will go ahead and laugh!!!