In other news, I have three weeks left with our little man before returning to a 40+ hour work week. I have cherished every minute of this time with our little guy. I am going to soak in every snuggle, smile, coo, cry and poop... yes, I will miss those moments too! Not going back to work has never been an option for me. This maternity leave has also taught me that I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom. Hats off to those who take care of the baby AND the home... cooking, cleaning, going to the grocery store... for real? During the two hours that our little guy takes a routine nap my time is filled with- pumping, washing pump parts, finish getting dressed, eating something, cleaning pacifiers... sometimes I skip the finish getting dressed part to write a blog post! Then he's awake for the rest of the day with the exception of a couple of quick afternoon naps and we eat, play, change diapers and repeat. I don't feel like I can do anymore than just survive the day and wait anxiously on PC to pull in the driveway. Somehow I think going back to work will force me to accomplish more in less time and that I will just feel better- physically & emotionally. However, my heart is going to be very heavy those first days back in that world. When I think about that day approaching so quickly, I choke back tears. Although my baby will be in good hands and will be at home for three days of the week, no one will take care of him in the same way as his mama. I will miss him...terribly. I will not be returning as the worker I was before. I will not be the last one to leave. In fact, I will be counting down to the minute that I can get out the door and home to nurse this sweet boy.
Well. Sh*t. Now I'm wishing I had the option to change my mind!
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This is EXACTLY how I felt. It's true, I'm accomplishing more b/c I have less time (i.e. after dinner while daddy holds baby I prep the dinner for the next night and move laundry).... and it's nice counting down the minutes until I see my baby, instead of occasionally counting down the minutes until her next nap. That being said, I sure wish I lived in Norway and got 1 yr paid maternity benefits. Time is so irreplaceable and precious...
Btw- PLEASE either link your email to your blogger or reply to this comment from your email so i have your address. For some reason you are the person I most often want to reply to, and I can't because I don't have your email (and honestly, I never check back to the particular post I commented on to see if you reply that way).
I felt the same way too. I don't think I am cut out to be a SAHM either but I desperately miss those 12 weeks the three of us were home together. That's all you can do is soak up the remainder of your days home with him and once you go back to work, the best part of your day will be coming home to that smiley baby.
It's really hard to leave every day, even with an ideal child care situation. Yesterday I came home to find that the baby hadn't napped the whole time I was away, and I nearly broke down from guilt for leaving. Like you, I don't really have a choice; bills must be paid, particularly since I've been in school for so long, and graduating and going back to work must happen. I try to remind myself that children who don't have SAHMs do just fine, that I never imagined myself as a SAHM, and that I want to have a life outside of the home that my little girl can look up to, but it's still hard. At least it sounds like you know what you want/need to do.
I always wanted to be a sahm and now that I am, I realize how HARD it is. Seriously, I'm lucky to find the time to go to the bathroom let alone get dressed or clean or COOK!! Where does the time go with these little ones? I hope your transition back to work is smooth for you and the baby!
Being a SAHM is much harder then I thought! I am glad I am not the only one struggling to "do it all!" Being a working mom is hard too, and props to you for trying both. I hope it's a smooth and easy transition for you!
My maternity leave was always very tiring. I tried to just enjoy the babies, as if I tried to get a lot accomplished, I felt like I couldn't get anything done and very frustrated. I know now that it is very hard when they are that small to get anything done.
When you do get back to work, remember that you'll still be really tired and not yourself at work at least until your baby starts sleeping through the night. My friend who sits next to me at work just came back from mat leave and she's exhausted. This is her second, so she's done this before, but I did need to remind her to take it easy on herself until she gets some regular sleep.
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