Today should be a happy one of celebrating a TWO MONTH old! But instead, it has been a really crappy because of our pediatrician wellness visit this morning. The doctor is concerned about our little one's weight gain percentile being too low. (Maybe grandma knows something I don't.) Then he looked at me and PC and said no offense but that it could be because both his parents are small. Is it wrong to have a skinny baby? I sent a text to the LC and she told me that pedi's often use formula fed charts for those evaluations and to not give up breast feeding because of this one visit/opinion. PC said that his brother and his niece were just like our baby's size. Our baby cries when he is hungry and is content afterwards. But the doctor didn't ask about any of that. In fact, he was pissed. Pissed because we asked to wait just a few more months before starting the vaccines. PC and I think vaccines are good. We think they save lives and are needed. We just want to let him get a little bigger after the strong rounds of antibiotics he had at birth, after the thrush, after the blood in the stools... we want to be sure his immune system is not compromised before being injected (in his underweight body according to the doctor) with seven shots. Seven. I don't mean to start a vaccination debate but it's my opinion that little babies are given too much, too soon. Again, we fully plan on it. But, damn it, that should be a parent's choice and a doctor shouldn't bully a parent who wants to do it a little later and a little more spread out.
Oh, and he said that if we have not started the shots by the next visit, they will no longer offer us services. Oh, and he said "that birthmark on his head- it's a hemangioma and I've seen them get as big as golf balls. Nothing you can do about it." Exits room, returns with the vaccination policy and doesn't even speak to us until I ask if we can get our baby dressed. Our baby, who was all smiles and happy until the conversation about vaccines... then he picked up on an angry doctor vibes and tense parents and he started to scream and cry. I wanted to join him. I still do.
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I would kick that guy in his ass! I don't understand docs that have the holier than thou attitude and won't respect a parent's wishes. And then to be RUDE on top of it!! We have a little baby too and there is nothing wrong with them. They are little for a reason, mom and dad are little, so what? I'm so sorry you had a bad experience today. Go celebrate 2 months in a big way!
you've got to be kidding... I've never heard of a ped refusing to provide care because you don't follow their vaccine schedule. that is insane. and maybe time t look at some other pediatricians!
my husband is super pro vaccines, and so we'll be following the regular schedule, (well we already refused the initial hep b vac, and eye drops at birth - so maybe not exactly following it...) When we interviewed our ped, ML asked about his vaccination philosophy. The dr carefully answered -thinking that we might be anti-vaccine people, not wanting to put us off. When ML heard that some of the patients choose to not vaccinate, he was ready to walk out of the office, not wanting to expose his child to any non-vaccinated kids!
Have you read the Dr Sears Vaccine book? Maybe you can email him and ask for a recommendation for a ped who would honor your wishes for an alternate schedule.
Oh, and there is a totally different growth chart for bf babies. You might be able to find it on kellymom.
Thanks also for your comments and love on my post yesterday. Thank goodness for the internet and blog community - it is so nice to know that we are not alone!
WTF?? I would find a new ped! What a dick. I don't blame you for waiting, he's been through a lot in his little life. Just a question, does he still have blood in his stool? Do you know what caused it? I'm just asking because I've been reading all kinds of stuff on mspi because Emily has it and blood in the stool is one of the symptoms. Email me if you want theloststork at hotmail dot com. Don't feel bad or sad about your choices- you know best mama!! Happy 2 months!!
What a terrible experience! Time for a new doctor! Our pediatrician doesn't allow variation from the standard vaccine schedule, but the practice says that right up front and on the website, not with such a nasty attitude. Depending on where you live, it's usually not hard to find a more flexible doctor. And don't worry about the growth--my baby is small too, but her doctor assures me that it's growth, not size, that counts. She calls her growth fine "along her curve."
I agree with everyone else. Time for a new pediatrician!! And I agree with the LC, if he is wetting enough diapers and seemed happy after eating, he might just be a slow gainer. So many doctors rush to formula. It's so annoying that they try to push parents in that direction. Your little guy is lucky he has great parents to be his advocate!
Hey mac, I read your comment on my blog and I wanted to let you know- in case you don't, that it takes a few weeks to get the dairy out of your system even if you aren't eating it. And there are ingedients that are still considered dairy that you wouldn't think of that might be bothering him. Here is a blog that might help- it has recipes too!
http://www.mspimama.com/2008/07/frequently-asked-questions.html and of course, kelly mom
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/food-sensitivity.html
Sorry for the experience, it sounds awful. I was also recommended the Dr. Sears book. My sister does an alternative schedule that she recommended to me--it alleviates the need for so many shots at once.
Your post made my blood boil on your behalf. Please find a new pediatrician - one who is compassionate and open-minded and has any semblance of bedside manner!
On the topic of vaccines, I'm not sure where I stand on it yet but I do know that I hate seeing my baby get pricked. When the nurse did a second heel poke test for baby's sugar levels and took forever while my babe wailed in agony, I was literally ready to leap from my bed, grab the needle from her and stab her in the eyeball with it. I've never known carnal mama-bear-fierceness until now.
I just had a conversation with my mother-in-law that you might appreciate, so I came back. I said, with some anxiety, "They're supposed to double their birth weight by four months," and my MIL said impatiently, "What's all this 'supposed to'? They'll gain when they gain. We never weighed them. As long as she's eating, she's fine." This coming from a woman who also raids my frozen stash to force feed the baby while I'm gone.
Oooooh - my blood boiled when I read this on my phone yesterday.
(1) Get a new doc. Period. You need a doc who will listen to you, give advice, and ultimately honor what YOU want to do. We picked our peds doc specifically b/c she was fine with our delayed vaccination wishes, and I am SO happy that we have her support in that. Breatfed babies are getting your antibodies at every feeding!
(2) Screw the charts. Another thing my peds doc is big on is that as long as a baby is growing according to his/her own curve, it's fine. If parents are tiny, it makes sense the baby might be on his own smaller curve, and that's fine! Also, like the other commenters have said, breast milk babies are usually smaller - which doesn't equate with not a healthy - I'd venture to say they're healthier.
Hang in there, and celebrate that you have a HEALTHY, HAPPY 2 month old!
What a shitty doctor. What ever happened to CARING for patients?? So glad to hear you'll be switching. THANKS SO MUCH for the reccomendation It has saved our lives!!! I SWEAR by it now too!!!
Your son is absolutely fabulous! It is a ridiculously amazing feeling to be a mom isn't it? It is something I really thought I would never experience. We are so blessed :)
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