Ouch!

Had a day 5 endometrial biopsy today as part of the final tests before getting the greenlight for IVF. OMG. On the infertility pain-o-meter, this would be 2nd only behind the tubes test. When I first started IF treatments, I dreaded the needles... now I'm like... "wish it was just a shot!" The results from this will come in next week. I wrestle with why I'm going through all of this when I could be pursuing adoption... & don't have a great answer except for it always comes back to those darn "I wonder/what ifs!"

IVF= Internal Vanishing Funds!

Everything is so expensive right now. I need to make extra money through this year to help towards the Mac & PC IVF fund! Our insurance won't pay for any of it:[ My problem is not wanting to change our lifestyle or not wanting to get another job. Yeah, those are big problems when you need additional income. Posting a few things on eB.ay here and there doesn't solve it. We are doing some little things. Like- we're trying to stick to a supper & food budget and downsize where we can. I have this conversation with PC sometimes and he wants to know how I think I can make a lot of money without a lot of effort... I answer "the lott.ery!" But we don't do that either & what are the odds? I really get ticked off when I think about the whole insurance thing. I mean, are they comparing IF procedures to a nose job or tummy tuck!? Do they really understand that putting my feet in stirrups is not a hobby that comes with a saddle? I sent in all of my receipts for IUIs & tried anyway... even wrote a letter! I was still denied but not for lack of trying. Stay tuned to see if I can figure out a creative (but legal) way to finance an IVF cycle:]

AF & July 4th... irony!

I have been trying to slow down this summer & soak in the sunshine... putting infertility on the backburner & finding distractions for awhile, even though that's not really possible. I usually have signs that AF is coming... but this one just kind've "boom!" happened today... ironic that it's a day to celebrate freedom but AF (in a sense) takes that away in the world of IF.
So, what happens to me? Why was my last cycle April 13-17 and now July 4 to ??? Obviously, I'm still not ovulating, but is there a chance with each cycle or is my body just not capable of it? Sigh. Too many questions & no one has the answers. I'll call Dr. H on Monday to schedule the day 5 endometrial biopsy and then (I think) there's not many tests left. My RE wants this one done before she'll start an IVF cycle. Even though we're putting that on hold, I'd like to check this test off of "the list."
On a bright note, PC & C and I had a good time taking the Jeep & watching some fireworks near home and spent some time with family on the lake earlier today. Happy 4th!!!

Home Sweet Home

I've just returned from a week-long 'theories of leadership' class in Virginia. It was a beautiful area and I learned a lot but I missed PC and the dog and the comforts of home. Blogging has become a form of stress relief for me, but I have not found the time here lately & hope to do better. In the IF world, there is little to say. AF has not been around since April 14th... no, I was hopeful too, but a blood test before I left for VA confirmed a level 2 hCG:[ So, who knows what's going on? I've had two acupuncture treatments in the mean time. Tomorrow, I'm going to call the OB/Gyn for a prescription to induce a cycle and go from there. In other news, my mini-garden grew while I was gone & I cut fresh peppers to go on a pizza today! And my "home vacation" starts tomorrow. Well, almost. I'm keeping my nieces tomorrow and so it will be a busy-but-fun day. While I was gone, PC took up an unusual hobby that he couldn't wait for me to "try out" last night. Before that sparks any interest, let me clarify... it involved a flashlight and a pellet gun. Our neighbors, who are also close relatives, have a pond beside our house full of bellowing bullfrogs that keep PC up at night. I sleep through anything so they don't bother me. But PC is on a mission to go down by the pond at dark, shine a light on unsuspecting amphibians & aim!!! And there's one- the ONE- that is making the loudest noise of all... and he's clever, always out of sight but making sure you know he's still around. And this is why women should not travel & leave their husbands behind for more than a day or two:]

I Love Summer!

Even though it's not officially here, we've had temps in the 90's recently & it is a good "taste" of the coming weeks! I love summer time. The smells, flip flops, plants, sweet tea on the porch, garage sales... ahhhhh, things that make me happy! PC & I just came in a few minutes ago. We've been spending a lot of time with C outside on the back deck late at night. (C does not share my joy of summer- he is one miserable puppy!) We don't have plans for a summer vacation, but I'm going to make a list and make my own "home vacation!" BTW, we've both decided not to go through IVF in July. Just doesn't feel like the right time- we both feel good about the decision & I'm just hoping & praying my reproductive system will agree & hold out at least another year!

Summer Home Vacation To-Do's
1. Have one yardsale/clean out
2. Take care of mini- garden
3. Teach C a new trick
4. Go to a drive-in movie w/ PC
5. Go for several country Jeep drives
6. Keep organizing stuff
7. Make a cookbook from recipes from PC's granny (passed away last year)
8. Sleep late
9. Finish 2 grad. classes
10. Earn x-tra $$$