Newborn Stuff

Recently, I've commented on a couple of moms-to-be posts about things I would recommend for their registry.  I've decided to create a list here so that I can reference the link to respond to future posts for moms-to-be who ask for the advice.  If there is something any of you have that you can't live without, please leave it in the comments and we'll share from our experiences!

However, first I should say that every baby is different so what works for us and what our baby likes may not work for another sweet little personality-of-their-own bundle of joy:] 

If I had it to do over again, I would have included more of the practical items on the registry, like:
Diapers (all sizes, we prefer Huggies)
Wipes
Vaseline
Whatever you choose for rash treatment (we love some stuff called calazime that we get at a pharmacy- explosive poops and still have not had any diaper rash!!!  Knock on wood.)
Bath wash & lotions
Germ-x pumps for the changing table
Burp cloths or cheap packs of receiving blankets or cloth diapers (these can handle all kinds of baby  messes and if you get enough of them, you will not have a hard time throwing away one that gets covered in poo... or two... or three)
Storage containers- I didn't put anything like this on the registry but now I'm buying them to store diapers, newborn clothes we want to keep, etc.
Board books (actually, these are good to find and just wipe down from consignment sales or passed along from friends)
Baby clothes hangers
Changing table covers, pack-n-play sheets and crib sheets (seems like they are in the wash non-stop)
Baby detergent

I wouldn't put any kind of clothes, onesies, stuffed animals or blankets on the list... these seem to be the things that everyone wanted to buy.  We got four piggy banks!  

Big items we love:
AngelCare Monitor
Swing (one of the best yardsale purchases yet... although the kind that plug in seem pretty nice as we've had to change the batteries already)
Vibrating/bouncy chair
Fisher Price Rock & Play Sleeper
Pack-n-Play
Chicco Keyfit 30 travel system
Chicco caddy  (This has been money well spent!  It weighs 11 lbs and our car seat clicks into it.  I can handle it by myself and there is storage room underneath for shopping or it also works well in restaurants so we're not constantly worried about putting him on top of the -dirty- upside down high chair!)

The Caddy- also comes in handy for riding around the house when you're not sure what else to do!

 There are a lot of things he has to get a little bigger for and I can't comment on (like a jumperoo or bumbo seat or toys) but some things that have been useful:
Hamper
Clock (helpful when pumping if my phone is not nearby)
Lamp
Night Light!!!
Glider rocker and some type of pillow for support if breastfeeding!!!
Towels & wash cloths
Some kind of mirror... our little guy loves to look in a mirror while he's being changed!
Some kind of musical aquarium or crib attachment
Bathtub with the mesh part on top
Diaper Genie & refills (PC's favorite because it's crazy how the poopy diaper smell disappears once you push it through the top!)
A keepsake or safe deposit box for all of those little "treasures" from the first year

"Little things" that I've found we've needed two or more for home, car and/or diaper bag:
Thermometer (hate the digital, it always tells us he has a fever... we like the regular underarm thermometer)
Nose syringe (the one from the hospital was great and it busted...have yet to find another good one for our very stuffy nose boy)
Nail clippers
Shades for the car
Backseat mirrors for the car
Mat for diaper changing (although most diaper bags come with one)
More Germ-x
And, as one of my girlfriends calls it... a Hooter Hider :]


It's hard to say about pacifiers, bottles and such... our baby has a preference for the round soothie pacifiers so I've given the others away.  Any bottles so far have been small disposable bottles.  We do use the drying rack frequently for pump parts and the disposable bottles.  

Things that our little guy just doesn't like (yet?)
Tummy time mat
Boppy pillow (which a lot of moms say is a must)
Play mat

Breastfeeding items would be a whole other post that I'm unable to do because we're still figuring that out day by day! 

Crazy the amount of STUFF that comes with a baby.  I'm trying to picture the car on our first vacation!  Really, all they need is food, diapers & love right? 

 

TVT

• Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus Baby Brain!  Forget knowing the date, what day of the week is it?  Does it go in the fridge or in the pantry?  Is it too, two or to?  Me:  "What's that thing in there that washes the dishes?"  PC:  "Ummm.... the dishwasher?"  Me:  "Oh, yeah."  If I could remember other crazy things I would post them here, but I can't remember anything!
• Grateful for a wonderful MIL and FIL.  But... a little aggravated with FIL that blue slippers with puppy dogs on them to keep my child's feet warm look "girly." 
• How in the world does something so small produce toots and and poops so HUGE?  
• What do we call "it" with a little boy?  I say we call it his pee pee and PC says that's too dainty.  He suggests it's the peter.  But what if that's a little boy's name in his class one day?  Decisions, decisions. 
• The sixth bed has arrived at our home this week.  

Why did I not know about this life saver?  Some swaddling & the dustbuster & the paci and we are getting half of the night without baby in the middle of us and half the night with baby---- ahhhhh, best of both worlds!!!  Well, the sleep is a little better after the dustbuster battery runs low!

• Got my hair highlighted this morning.  That hair made it through month nine, labor, birth, NICU and the first six weeks with a newborn.  Believe me it was time!  Pumped three days to get out for those two hours.  Do you think I processed in a chair reading a good trashy magazine?  Nope, I went to hang out in a quiet bathroom lol. 

NICU- Part 2/Final Thoughts

Our baby was in the NICU before his second day in the world.  That was when I wrote this post and asked for prayers... and they worked!

I had no idea what NICU really meant before we had a baby.  Babies were getting special care...that was my only reference.   Now I wish it had been discussed when we toured labor & delivery or that the ob/gyn would have talked to us a little more about it.  I guess they don't want to cause any undue stress.  If any mom-to-be is reading this, please read through as someone who is sharing what I wish had been shared with me.  It is not my intention to scare anyone but to inform and provide support.

Babies are in NICU for so many different reasons... ours because his spit up concerned the L&D nurse and they did some blood work and it showed signs of an infection.  If your baby has to go to NICU, possibly... you will see him or her hooked up to a machine and an IV on his/her arm or head (we started with an IV in the arm, but it leaked after a couple of days and the next one was put in his head... although it broke my heart, our baby was so much happier with the IV in his head and his arm free...the nurse explained how those veins are actually better for babies).  You probably won't get to be with your baby 24/7 as you will be receiving care from having a baby and (in our hospital) two hours were reserved for shift change and no visitors.  You will cry.  You will work so hard to get to your baby and brushing your teeth becomes a big accomplishment.  You will have many questions... can I hold him/her, feed him/her, what happens next, etc.  You will dream of being at home with your little one.

I went from extreme elation to extreme deflation in a matter of hours.  I was scared, worried and broken-hearted for what my son was going through. It's hard for any parent, but for an IF mama with an IVF baby, I don't have to tell you how my heart ached to take a baby home.  I had a lot to learn.  Now... here's the part why I hope you are still reading...

You will make it.  Your baby will be in the care of some of the most phenomenal people you have ever met, they are called NICU nurses, or angels would fit as well.  They will answer your questions.   They will encourage you and let you hold your baby (and feed if possible).  They will offer kleenex and an understanding look when you cry.  They remind you to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby.  They will color pictures for him and make sure that his every need is met.

 
We were lucky and I learned to be grateful.  Our son was home after 5 days... I met a mom in the elevator who was going on week 13.  I asked, How are you doing it?  And her response was something similar to- How do you not?  Those parents live. survive. and God- willing take home a healthy baby, which is the number one goal of NICU!

There was a NICU favorite baby while we were there, Baby J, who (by overhearing a caseworker talking to a nurse) I learned that rarely got visits from his mom and had been there four MONTHS.  I wanted to take him home with us too.  

On Tuesday night, PC and I had a "date" in the hospital cafeteria during no visitor time.  PC was talking about how you loved someone so much that you had only known a short amount of time and (this might only make sense to Twi.light fans) I said "Awwww, we've imprinted!"  PC (totally out of character) said "I should smack you right now for comparing our baby to some hormone-filled vampire/werewolf character!"  And that was the first laugh in 48 hours.  It helped.  A lot.   

Our H was a true little fighter.  By Wednesday, all levels were back to normal range and we were ready to "room in" with him.  They have a special room for families who are taking home their baby the next day.  It looked like a penthouse suite to us... it looked better than that!

I hope that you do not have a NICU experience but, if you do, know that those are special people who share your goal of taking a healthy baby HOME.  You're already a fighter through the IF journey and you will be a fighter for your baby too! 

5 beds, one baby

You have all these visions and plans in your head about how things are going to work out when baby is home.  Never say never!  Hence, the sleeping situation!  
Plan... he is going to sleep in the pack and play (bed #1) every night with the monitor on and all blankets off.  Good plan, but he doesn't sleep that way.  So he ends up in your arms and you both sleep hours at a time, warm and snugly, on and off the boob buffet as baby so desires.  After a few days weeks everything in your head says this isn't a good habit and not to mention how unsafe it is according to the experts and research.  Obviously, grandma doesn't like it either so she buys a little cosleeper basket (#2) that goes in the bed.  But baby doesn't sleep and DH and I lose much more sleep trying to fit in the few inches of bed that's left.  So he ends up in your arms and you both sleep hours at a time, warm and snugly, on and off the boob buffet as baby so desires.  Grandma researches and reads about a cosleeper that attaches to the bed (#3) and she wants to buy it.  Agree to try.  DH puts it together and it's no different than the pack and play except that one side rolls down... but it does not extend the bed like we thought.  So DH takes it apart and puts it back in the box (with one or two obscenities along the way).  The original bassinet (#4) in our room that we borrowed from SIL?  A make-shift changing area.  If this baby can't at least see you through mesh, there is no sleeping.  The crib (#5)?  That's a whole other transition to the other side of the house that I am not ready for.  He does like to lay in it, but only wide awake.  
So, the latest plan is to move the pack and play into our bedroom and try to get baby to make it to the first feeding before ending up beside me.  Do I get credit for at least having a plan?  Why do I feel so bad and guilty for a decision that brings hours of sleep and makes me and baby both happy?  Because I also think about the "what if" dangers and the habit that's already looking hard to break and that PC and I need to snuggle too... we have got to start reconnecting (another post for another day).  But I also am not in favor of a whole night of "crying it out" or losing so much sleep that I have nothing left to be able to give him the best care possible the next day. 

Update:  I started this post yesterday.  Baby made it through about one hour in the pack and play.  He was fussy and we kept putting the pacifier back in until the full cry came.  PC says at least it's a start... tonight we'll try for an hour and a half... baby steps:]  Any words of wisdom appreciated unless you are going to side with grandma.  Just kidding.  We are trying to transition but, again, I've learned sometimes you will do what you have to do... so sad to be moving him (okay, and me too) from our happy place! 

Pack and play, great at Christmas for staring at the tree!

In-bed cosleeper and bassinet on other side.  Picture fools you- this is a 5 minute nap!

PC putting the other cosleeper back in the box, as good as a sport about it as he could be!

Crib, great for watching the aquarium!

Mom, snoozing away! 

Crayons on the wall... already?

Not quite.  But we do have a big mess on our hands, literally! 

If you haven't had to deal with the lovely thrush, consider yourself very lucky!  If you have, you probably know about genetian violet.  It's purple topical stuff that I put on my boobs and it ends up in my baby's mouth... but it is said to be one of the most effective treatments of thrush.  We want to get rid of this nasty thrush because there is no freezing or storing breastmilk while it's active and because it causes white spots in my baby's mouth.
Anywho...
this morning PC took the baby for the  6 a.m. diaper change and he started yelling.  I jumped up and yelled "is the baby okay?"  He said "yes, but help!"  Someone (me)- who has a big case of baby brain (if it's any kind of excuse) left the lid open on the genetian violet and then someone else (PC- who really can't be blamed but is just a little bit guilty by association) accidently knocked it over.  A full bottle.  Of stuff that comes with Internet warnings like this: 
"Gentian violet is a powerful staining agent. Stains can be removed, but it's important to act quickly. The longer that nasty stuff sets, the harder it will be to remove."
Understatement.  PC worked quickly to save the hardwood while I made a sad attempt to wipe the cabinets, while listening to a screaming baby with a dirty diaper.  Finally I said "I've got to take care of the baby" and the rest was left to PC.  Good news?  He saved the hardwood!  Bad news?  He's out buying paint right now for the built-ins.  We tried rubbing alcohol and the other Internet suggestion was Vodka, but we've been fresh out of that for nine months now!  
One day it will be funny.  But not today.  Today, we are sick of PURPLE!     
Here...

and here...

and here...

 And I would post a picture of PC's purple feet but he is presently out buying paint.  He took the cabinet door to the store to match up the paint and I'm wondering if he's having to explain to the sales guy that it is a purple stain that his wife uses to paint her nipples.

Okay, maybe we will go ahead and laugh!!!

TVT

I'm joining in on TVT and it's not going to be pretty, but that's the point, right?  I need it today!

Here it is... I'm feeling a little lot resentful of the differences in mommy and daddy duties.  Hormones?  Lack of sleep?  Could there be a little Lupron left in my system? 

Disclaimer:  I am loving every single minute of this sweet time with our precious miracle!  
But when PC gets home, I'm asking "can I get a bath" "can I have a minute to eat" "can I go to the bathroom." DH does all of those things and can get a haircut too!  Y'all should see my hair...both colors:[  Over the weekend, I ventured to the grocery store for 1 hour and made sure it was a time when baby would be satisfied and food was ready if not.  PC said "I'll call our niece if I need help."  I'm not sure if he was joking or not but my expression was you must be joking!  PC is a champ when it comes to diaper changes and laundry and all of my requests of "can you get this or that."  He gets up for the 5:30 diaper change and makes sure that I can get a shower in the morning before he leaves for work.  He goes to every appointment and is very much in love with this baby.  He was my hero in the hospital and through the NICU experience and I still want to post about that when I can let my mind go there again.  I shouldn't even be thought-vomiting about this, but my vision of more 50-50 baby care in the evenings just doesn't seem possible with breastfeeding.  I adore this baby, I adore my sweet PC... but I just want to be able to use the bathroom without yelling "give me one more minute" because baby is crying in the next room and I feel bad for baby and dad. 

There, TVT out.       

Funny Firsts

I can start a post while breast feeding too, loving the iPhone! Any suggestions of apps you can't live without? 

Pictures- The photographer who did the newborn pictures came to our home when Hampton was nine days old.  We just weren't ready to get him out of the house yet so she was super sweet to accommodate us!  From this point on, we will just rely on mom's picture-taking skills since we can't afford frequent professional pictures (that money is still going on the IVF loan!)  I love the naked newborn pics but PC thinks they make our little man look a little too pretty (he doesn't share my awwhhh so sweet thoughts) so I need to add some "little man" pics for daddy!

How about this one?  This makes me laugh every time!  Anytime our little guy sees something or does something new, his eyes get huge... then he decides if he likes it or not... then whether to cry or not. 

Something else that makes me laugh.  (Background- One of the nurses in the NICU gave our baby a pacifier during the night.  I wasn't sure that we were even going with the pacifier but when I saw him hooked up to those IV's and getting comfort from the paci, I was fine with it.)  So, H only likes one kind of pacifier and it's as big as his face.  It goes almost out, then he quickly sucks it back in.  You can see his little mouth from the other side, warms my heart!   

Today we celebrated with our one month old by eating out at the W.affle H.ouse... maybe we'll go somewhere a little fancier for his one year old birthday but (again) we're still paying for IVF! 
To baby- This might be a clue that we are new parents... we didn't know where to put you!  I'm a little embarrassed to admit I asked the cook "where do people put the car seats" and he proceeded to say that he thought it would fit on an upside down high chair.  That didn't work so we kind've wedged you between the table and back seat of the booth... there weren't many people eating there or we would have made someone laugh for sure!  We are learning!  Love you oh so much and can't wait to see what the next month brings!!!    

One Month Randomness

 First, best way to start a post is to send some blog baby love out there with a newborn pic:]  

It's amazing how he's changed so much already as tomorrow we will have a ONE MONTH old, wow!

  

Update on breastfeeding:  Thanks for the comments and suggestions... you all are such a great source of support and information!  I started pumping about 1.5 ounces yesterday, once in the morning, but so far it's been used within the next 4-6 hours to allow mommy to run to the grocery store and to get through our first church service.  It has been so hard to figure out how to get out of the house with or without baby!  I also think that our little guy's thrush has now moved to my breasts:[  Tomorrow I will be getting some gentian violet and vinegar to try and stop it before it really starts.  This will be in addition to the Nystatin that goes into his mouth after each feeding and the probiotic that I'm taking.  Good news is that he is up to 8 lbs 5 oz from his birth weight of 7 lbs 9 oz so we know he is eating well!   

New adventures since the last post:  

A tub bath- and he absolutely loves it... he hates to get out!  

Lost the umbilical cord... actually, the doctor took it off which kind of freaked me out but it's healed fine since then.

First trip to a restaurant... he slept in his car seat while we ate fast!

First trip to church...slept right through!

Announcement cards are being shipped right now- if they turn out cute, I'll pass along the website.  I typed directly on one of our newborn pics and ordered a large quantity for a fraction of the price compared to other sites. 

In other news, PC got an i.Phone right before Christmas and didn't like it (wouldn't you know it) so I took it.  Yes, I'm a Mac girl, but I was anti-iPhone for a long time just because I didn't want to be so connected to work e-mail and texting in my "down" time.  But with a newborn, I am SO glad to have that connection... I can accomplish reading your blogs and a feeding at the same time, woo hoo!  Don't worry, I'm all about the bonding, but our little guy is busy and happy while eating so he doesn't mind if I keep up with my blog friends!  Besides, I usually learn something to add to the new mom tool kit so it's good for both of us.  Now, if a smart phone could just do housework lol:]   

Breastfeeding

I'm going to jump in with a post about breastfeeding because 1. I've found the other posts/comments helpful and 2.  it seems fitting to start the new year with a post about something that pretty much rules my life right now!

Here is what this amateur has learned but there is still much I'm learning each day!
GET A LACTATION CONSULTANT TO COME TO YOUR HOME, better yet skip the bonding time at the hospital and get the breastfeeding help instead--- just kidding!  I must say that the lady at the hospital only wanted to rent me a pump and answer any questions... at that point I didn't know what questions to ask... not helpful.  The consultant from our hometown that came to our house and watched everything I did... I could have spent hours with Dr. G.oogle and not learn what I learned in that thirty minutes!!!

Most important thing I learned in that amount of time...

• Latching on:  Support the baby's neck, hold your breast with the other hand and bring the baby to the breast.  Rub their lips with the nipple and wait for a big wide open mouth before you fill it with boob... and get all that you can in there!  Make sure their tongue is down and the lower lip flanges out.  If you feel instant pain, put your finger in the corner of their mouth to de-latch and try again.  If this part doesn't go well, breastfeeding may not even be an option because the nipples can become cracked (this happened to me in the hospital) or lead to lots of pain. 

So, we master the latch even if it takes multiple tries.  But then we ran into two issues.  I have a strong let-down and (I think) an oversupply.  Those sound like good problems to have, but instead it's caused issues for my little guy like gagging, gulping, major gassiness and (sorry tmi) greenish frothy poop... ugh, ugh, ugh and major ugh!  The oversupply means that our baby is getting too much of the milk that comes out first, which is higher in calories but not enough of the milk that comes out last, which is higher in fat.  So, he is not getting a balance and it leads to stomach irritation.  To work on these issues, we're staying on one side for a long time, expressing a little bit of the milk in the case of a too strong let down and I'm making sure his head his elevated above the breast.

Next I want to figure out a time for pumping and how to store breastmilk for future feedings.  But will that only make my oversupply problem worse?  The tummy issues aren't completely resolved either so I'm not sure what else to do if those problems continue.  Whew!  No one could have told me how much work breastfeeding is!  But I know it's good for our little man and "nothing good comes easy!"  Back to the boob baby :] 

Happy New Year!