I had no idea what NICU really meant before we had a baby. Babies were getting special care...that was my only reference. Now I wish it had been discussed when we toured labor & delivery or that the ob/gyn would have talked to us a little more about it. I guess they don't want to cause any undue stress. If any mom-to-be is reading this, please read through as someone who is sharing what I wish had been shared with me. It is not my intention to scare anyone but to inform and provide support.
Babies are in NICU for so many different reasons... ours because his spit up concerned the L&D nurse and they did some blood work and it showed signs of an infection. If your baby has to go to NICU, possibly... you will see him or her hooked up to a machine and an IV on his/her arm or head (we started with an IV in the arm, but it leaked after a couple of days and the next one was put in his head... although it broke my heart, our baby was so much happier with the IV in his head and his arm free...the nurse explained how those veins are actually better for babies). You probably won't get to be with your baby 24/7 as you will be receiving care from having a baby and (in our hospital) two hours were reserved for shift change and no visitors. You will cry. You will work so hard to get to your baby and brushing your teeth becomes a big accomplishment. You will have many questions... can I hold him/her, feed him/her, what happens next, etc. You will dream of being at home with your little one.
I went from extreme elation to extreme deflation in a matter of hours. I was scared, worried and broken-hearted for what my son was going through. It's hard for any parent, but for an IF mama with an IVF baby, I don't have to tell you how my heart ached to take a baby home. I had a lot to learn. Now... here's the part why I hope you are still reading...
You will make it. Your baby will be in the care of some of the most phenomenal people you have ever met, they are called NICU nurses, or angels would fit as well. They will answer your questions. They will encourage you and let you hold your baby (and feed if possible). They will offer kleenex and an understanding look when you cry. They remind you to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby. They will color pictures for him and make sure that his every need is met.
We were lucky and I learned to be grateful. Our son was home after 5 days... I met a mom in the elevator who was going on week 13. I asked, How are you doing it? And her response was something similar to- How do you not? Those parents live. survive. and God- willing take home a healthy baby, which is the number one goal of NICU!
There was a NICU favorite baby while we were there, Baby J, who (by overhearing a caseworker talking to a nurse) I learned that rarely got visits from his mom and had been there four MONTHS. I wanted to take him home with us too.
On Tuesday night, PC and I had a "date" in the hospital cafeteria during no visitor time. PC was talking about how you loved someone so much that you had only known a short amount of time and (this might only make sense to Twi.light fans) I said "Awwww, we've imprinted!" PC (totally out of character) said "I should smack you right now for comparing our baby to some hormone-filled vampire/werewolf character!" And that was the first laugh in 48 hours. It helped. A lot.
Our H was a true little fighter. By Wednesday, all levels were back to normal range and we were ready to "room in" with him. They have a special room for families who are taking home their baby the next day. It looked like a penthouse suite to us... it looked better than that!
I hope that you do not have a NICU experience but, if you do, know that those are special people who share your goal of taking a healthy baby HOME. You're already a fighter through the IF journey and you will be a fighter for your baby too!
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What a great post, and a great way to summarize such a scary time! I remember touring L&D with our class and a mom walked out of the NICU with tears in her eyes. She had to walk through the tunnel of all of us and our instructor said it never gets easy. I can't imagine having a child in there, but thanks for providing a sense of relief that the nurses and doctors truly care and are giving the best care they can.
Oh Mac I can't even imagine how scary this all had to be! I'm so glad H had good people taking care of him and now he's all better! And thank you so much for your sweet comments, you are a great friend!
It broke my heart to read there was a baby there for months that hardly got any visits from Mommy. :-( When I was in the hospital last week, they gave Matt and I a special tour of the NICU and talked with us about all we can expect for our babies if they have to be there. They answered all of our questions and we learned a lot about how everything works in there (I learned about the IV in the head actually...which sounds scary, but they said is best for baby!) I hope our boys don't have to spend much time in there...but if they do, I feel like we'll be prepared for it. We've already discussed how we will handle possibly having to leave the hospital without them and then how we will be there as much as possible to visit, hold, feed, etc. So glad Hampton's stay was short!
Awh - this is a great post! I'm so glad Hampton was okay and that you guys imprinted. :) Too funny!
Beautifully put. As a fellow IF mom IVF baby and pregnancy after baby loss mom I felt the same way. I had those tears and a few laughs from my husband that get you through. <3 So glad we are all home now!
Oh my word, this post made me cry. I'm still fighting tears. I cannot imagine what you all went through, but I'm so, so thankful that time was not longer than it already was.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this with us. This is information I've never heard and a perspective I've never seen. I'm so grateful to have this information and the knowledge of your experience going into our L&D. It helps to see a bit more of the unknown and know in advance that while hard, it's possible.
What an experience you had to survive! I'm glad you shared it with us. You always have such great advice to offer for those following behind you. (Of course, I hope people don't actually need THIS particular advice...)
Hampton is a cutie!
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